Speak to the facts once they’re all in. That seems easy to say but the truth is, ALL of the facts are never in. So the best we can do is be aware of that as we mete out our decisions.

The facts that remain hidden are the ones that have to do with ‘why’ the teen is motivated to do or say what they did. Some facts can be explained. Others are under the surface and can’t be recognized even by the teen. If the teen can’t recognize key motivations for their behavior, they can hardly tell you EXACTLY why such and such happened.

A grain of salt is in order. To reduce the stress levels on yourself, it’s a good idea to be aware that the ‘unexplainable’ exists. COUNT IT as one (or two) of the ‘facts’ and address issues accordingly. Ultimately, you MUST believe everything will be OK in order to help make it so.

Are you patient in gathering your facts before meting out consequences?