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We come here to this planet with the most innocent of intensions, to live life to the fullest, to have joy, laughter, love and creativity at every turn.

Can you remember?  Reflect now on it… How far back can you go?

How do I know this? I remember springing out of bed at 3 years old, excited about the day and what it could possibly bring. How far back can you remember?

Here’s the problem… We projected that ‘joy expectation’ on our love relationships with men… or others… and it was not reciprocated. This was and is painful and a pain we carry with us. Are you suffering from a broken heart?

Romantic relationship after romantic relationship we thrashed and floundered. We did this because we wanted the joy to go on… Joy is our central feeling endeavor, our default anticipated feeling.

However, the misplacement of so much of our attention and affection on others to the exclusion of ourselves is the root of our pain. We can see it over and over again when we revisit and think about the experience we had with our former lovers.

Centering your affection on yourself and honoring the fact that you are enough and you are the true cause of your Joy, alleviates any deep disappointment in the behavior of others.

Going into relationships ‘being able to handle disappointment’ beforehand saves us.

I could see in my own Mother the heartbreak she experienced when my (sperm-donor) father choose the other girl he’d gotten pregnant over her. Her heart broke every time she looked at me because I looked just like him! Can you imagine?

Of course you can. You’re possibly having the very same experience with your offspring. When you look at them does your heart sink a little bit because they look like their father… that you’re no longer with or with whom you are emotionally distant?

I repeated the pattern of heartbreak in my own life. With every guy I met that I liked I’d wonder ‘Are you the one?’ I didn’t get pregnant but my heart broke every time he wasn’t. More of the attention I was giving then truly needed to be directed at myself.

When I left my son’s father I was depressed for a long time. I had been fed the ‘happily ever after’ fairytale story so many times by the time I was a teenager the expectation of receiving the fairytale for myself was the only option I considered possible for gaining true happiness.

My meditation practice saved me again as it had so many times before. I turned to my art practice, painting and clung to the love I had for my little boy.

At this juncture in life, I see it was all driven by hormones. It was quite a relief to have those hormones slough off. It left me feeling refreshed.

Had you and I known we are enough in advance… in our 20s, 30s & 40s, we would have saved ourselves a lot of heartbreak and been much further down the road in Joy. I invite you now to tune into yourself, to appreciate all you’ve gone through and cherish the exquisite creature that you are. When you tune in you’ll find it wasn’t all in vain, you’re all the richer for it and you’ll never abandon yourself again.