Children get a kick out of getting a rise out of their parents. Why is that? Well, engagement, on any level, is a sign of life. New humans LOVE engagement with their parents. If positive attention is not happening for them, negative attention will do just fine. Child behavior is largely about recognition and getting our attention so that we can fill a need that they have that they often cannot name. The tricky part is having parents discipline THEMSELVES in ways that are the most nourishing for their little bio-identical replicas.

When we parents understand that the buttons our children are pushing are OUR buttons and WE are the ones responsible for the disarming of them (the buttons), the whole dynamic in the engagement tone with our children shifts. Whether we are whispering sweets nothings to them or explaining the law of the house, we then stand (with new insight) in an adult, mature power that inspires cooperation and respect. (They already love us.) The button generator is OUR childhood.

Here now is a call for us all to examine our ‘buttons’. I’ve been taking a good look at myself and my ‘buttons’ and, I tell ya’, I was once a frickin’ computer keyboard of buttons, a veritable 20-story elevator panel of buttons! Just let me be a little too tired to take responsibility for my reactions and my son’s ears would singe! …for starters. Much better these days, thank you, but clearly…overwrought for nought. ALWAYS worked out better for me to engage in calm adult maturity.

How about you? Have you looked at self assessment?