Parenting dilemna: The kids have an equal say in what goes on in the household. They voice their opinions with authority on matters that are really parental/adult decisions and the parent goes along or gives in against their own wisdom. The kids/teens come and go as they please, mostly, and are indignant or defiant in the face of discipline from their parent…and they ignore the directive. In other words, the inmates are running the asylum.

This does not happen over night. There is usually a history of the parent(s) relenting because they are unaware of what relenting too often leads to, too tired to be effective in the moment… the many moments… or they are under the misguided impression that the child(ren) stand on some sort of equal footing with them!

Now, don’t get me wrong. Children are equal as human beings. The point is they are humans in training. In training to be become happy, wise, productive adults. When we allow the inmates to run the asylum, chaos, anarchy and hell for the parent(s) are the result. Their chances of growing into happy, wise and productive adults are reduced because the parent(s) took the path of least resistance when a strong backbone was required!!!

“Don’t know what to do now?” Grow a backbone! At the very extreme end of the spectrum, strip away all priviledges and gadgets. Move everything out of their room except the bare mattress with protective covering on it. Have them earn back everything piece by piece with good behavior and improved attitude over a LONG period of time. Make it easy on yourself. Doesn’t seem easy when you think about it and one can certainly use varying degrees in the spectrum but, I assure you, weakness is not an option.

It’s easier on ourselves when we employ all of our strengths(wisdom, patience, maturity and age) in an organized way and fortify it with meditation. We’re talking a year toyear long haul. T’is best to nip it(unacceptable behavior) in the bud rather than have it come into full flower in your face down the line! Is that what you want?

Who’s running your asylum?