Talk line: I mean the place in communications with your child where you draw the line at being disrespected. I witnessed a back and forth between a Mother and child recently that made the hair on my neck stand up.

She was attempting to protect him from danger (he had to have been all of 7 or 8 years old) as he was flying downhill on a blade scooter(one of those thin scooters on wheels). As she was calling his name, he would ignore her or on every other call, would bark back “WHAT!”

Now, the ‘old’ me (who happens to still live here inside) wanted to snatch that little dude by the arm and hold him until the proper authority could round the corner and address the situation but I didn’t . I couldn’t know that she would have appreciated my help. Times have changed. I knew it was none of my business but I remember the days of my own childhood when a ‘village mother’ would do just that until his mother could round the corner, catch up and take over… but I digress. I kept walking.

My point here is that in the attempts we make to communicate and negotiate with our children it is almost certain that verbal disrespect will occur. It is in that PRECISE moment of the disrespect that you drop everything and address it. In other words, your tone and the subject changes. In the above instance, after his FIRST ‘what’, my answer, in tone and texture, would have been “WHO do YOU think YOU’re talking to?” Based on our history and his recognition of my ‘tone’, he would have stopped in his tracks and waited or slowed down as previously requested.

I could go on about this but suffice it to say that should he have lost control and run into a tree it could have ruined a very pleasant sunny afternoon with emergency room care and expenses. It’s helpful to explain to them at that PRECISE moment that they are to NEVER speak to you that way and that you are NOT one of their little friends. Reintroduce yourself. Tell them, “you are my deepest love and I am your protector, your parent, the one who has come before you and staked out danger. I demand your respect at all times”.

(You may need to continue)… “At some point, if you listen and learn the lessons I teach you now, you will become an adult. At that point, you will have gained the wisdom to give back to your younger brothers, sisters and YOUR children but now, appreciate me and what I teach you as I appreciate you and what you teach me. Let’s respect each other but don’t talk back to me, I’m not one of your little friends!”

You get my drift? What would you add to this talk line?