The foundation of ‘how it is’ is what YOU say it is! Is your child abusing you?

Frames of mind, like being too busy or anything that has to do with time, trip us up often because we buy into this trap we’ve set for ourselves. If we would just stop and assess our values, we can take time away from areas that are not as high a priority as attending functions with or for our children or just simply hanging out with them. We get caught up in this forward motion, this spinning wheel of activity that we ourselves have launched and have not looked back to see if our child has been run over by it!

Are your values in looking at the clock, dealing with time or are your values ‘in the moment’ with getting the feeling you want to have happen in your family circle? Think long term, big picture in feeling what you want to have yourself and your family feel then be real about the feeling that is actually being produced today. Are the feelings matching up with the big picture goal? What really needs to be happening’ in this moment’ to produce that overall feeling in the big picture, down the line, down the ‘time’ line, when they’re adults? You define your time.

You’re lying to your boss to get a day off. The job is the boss of you. Someone had this expression, I can’t remember where I heard it but they asked, “Is your job the boss of you?” Your answer is probably “Hell Yes!” and I understand that but unless you are in some 3rd world country, you do get some time off. Divide that time into 50% child (at the very least) and 50% me. Say you own your own business, right? “Is your business the boss of you or are you the boss of your business?” How much are you allowing for you and the fam?

Do what makes you happy as much as you possibly can. I’m presuming here that being with your kids makes you happy. Are you being in charge of your happiness or are you letting something outside of family come in and say “you can’t be in charge of that, we’ll take that, you have nothing, you have no time”! Time is not real. The only timelike thing that is real is ‘now’. The ‘now’. There is no past, no future, only ‘now’. Use it well.

Please tell me in the comments below what do you think about this? What is your mind frame?

Teen sex at home was a topic of conversation recently in a small gathering of my friends. I found it very interesting to hear the opinions of the parents ranging from “It’s OK with them as long as proper protection is used” to “Hell no! Not under my roof!”. I, personally, fell into that “Hell no” category.

My Southern Baptist upbringing prohibits me having an open mind about this but I do recognize that it is not the way some parents look at it. Their thoughtfulness says they’d rather have their child having sex at home rather than in a car in some back alley somewhere because the sex is going to happen so let’s be as safe as we can about it. This makes a little sense to me if the child is financially independent and can therefore support themselves and their own child for the required 18 years or the parents are game to do it for them! Sex has a HUGE ‘accidental’ side-effect.

I understand that the hormones are raging but so are the varied discipline-demanding life experiences waiting to challenge the unprepared. Hormones are there in teenhood as a strong lesson in physical self discipline. This is the next stage before adulthood, the opportunity to go within and learn to harness and redirect that strong creative energy into academic excellence, excellence in sports and spiritual expansion. Parents are there to be strong in guidance through this most difficult and precious stage. I refused to knowingly be a party to something that could cost me another 18 years in parental service.

What about you? Please tell me in the comments below! What do you think of hosting your teen’s sexcapades in your home?

Heart problems often start once the kids are grown. Well here we are in a brand new year with a brand new start. I’ve taken a bit of time out to assess my objectives and I’ve come away with a startling conclusion. I feel like a fraud.

I have to say it. My so-called advice and wisdom on child discipline comes with more than a little regret. My own Son, who is now 28, alternately seeks my advice and counsel or holds me in contempt. I’ve had to take the time to sort this out. Here it is:

For those of you who have minors still, just know that when they grow up, they become who THEY are. It will be tempting to blame yourself for their perceived shortcomings. BANISH the thought! For all of the molding and building we do as parents, the fact remains that we are merely the ushers, the conduits of the future as our parents were for us. How deeply do we blame our parents for our shortcomings? How much love for our parents is sacrificed because of our upbringing, THEIR lack of wisdom? In the final analysis, how much of who we are today is really THEIR (our parents’) fault? Do we as adults take responsibility for our lives or do we still, like whiney teenagers, hold our parents in contempt for all that they were able and unable to do for us?

Let’s get over ourselves. Our parents were not perfect nor were theirs. Maturity dictates that we don’t blame the angels for God’s work. The beauty of life is that we are able to expand in ALL directions once we reach adulthood. The trick is getting to adulthood! Some don’t make it. Don’t blame yourself! Let’s love our humanity, our parenting, warts and all. Tote that barge! Lift that bale! Turn that kid’s cell phone off!

Please tell me what you think in the comments below and, if you have not already done so, download a FREE round of service on my Save Your Breath App for Android so that you CAN turn the kid’s phone off remotely if needed! Here’s the link http://bit.ly/y558Et .

Let’s forgo heart problems.