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Training Kids to Multitask?
Training kids to multitask is something that has been proven to be, not only inefficient, but also a detriment to (our and their) health. In the past and for quite some long time multitasking has been regarded as THE thing to be able do. It seems to make sense that if you can do one thing in a certain period of time then doing two or three things in that same period of time is even better!
I specifically remember one (or more) of the bosses and managers I’ve had over time say that employees who can multitask are the the most desirable. I could literally feel myself and the other employees in the room ‘gear ourselves up’ to impress the boss. This kind of thing was and probably still is a deciding factor when it is time to lay people off…who multitasks the best…who is willing to do more than one job…who handles the stress of all that the best….?
Well, I’m here to tell ya’ that we can only do ONE thing at a time well. The only time multitasking works and is not stress-inducing is when there is a machine doing the second and third tasks. Our conscious attention is singular and pointed. God’s is omnipresent. We attempt to multitask because our minds are inherently inclined to stress us out. We can only do ONE thing at a time well.
When we are teaching our kids, we often tell them to FOCUS on tasks to do them well. Why do we have them do that? The reason is because we know that that is the BEST way for them to excel in whatever it is that they are endeavoring. That goes for us as well. The fact that we are grown up does not mean that we can handle multiple distractions (like it’s a muscle) and do any one of them 100%. Our strength in adulthood in FOCUS is the LASER SHARPNESS with which we can FOCUS on any task or challenge. THAT is the muscle we are to develop in our kids. From there, The Theory of Relativity is born, Olympic Metals are won, Beautiful Books of Poetry are written…
So, if you’re pressing your kid to multitask, CUT IT OUT! You’re setting them up for unnecessary stress responses to tasks they would otherwise enjoy.
What’s your take on this aspect of training kids?
Impotente’ Parentingte’
IMPOTENTE’ PARENTINGTE’ ~ How weak are you?
Impotent parenting, weak parenting, is something that plagues many of us because we either don’t know any better or we’re just plain tired. There are a lot of things to ‘know better’ about. Too many to go into now. I’ll post about them later.
The ‘just plain tired’ part MUST be remedied though. Without the ENERGY you need, ‘knowing better’ won’t get done so let’s start with ENERGY. How do we get more of it?
We get MORE ENERGY, believe it or not, when we engage in creative activities that we love, when we pause or come to a full stop when stressed and when we plug into our Divine Core. That’s three options, yet when you look closely, it can also be ONE big one.
Being weak in parenting literally puts a stress on top of a stress. It’s to be avoided at all costs. It’s akin to being in debt and paying only the minimum payments. The ultimate result is ‘no relief’ and out of control children who grow into adults who are weak in their ability to thrive and be happy!
How weak are you?
Teenagers? Embrace Defiance says Dr. Beth
"Teenagers have to live into a bad rap", says Dr. Beth Halpert, ‘Americas’s Teenologist’. She doesn’t buy into all of the negative labeling of teens and she tells them so. All of the information that I am giving here is basically my notes from a webinar she conducted recently. Her book Embracing Defiance is available from Amazon.
She asks, "If you make yourself(parents) right in the negative, are you willing to be wrong?" She’s speaking here of the fact that we humans love to be ‘right’ all the time, especially parents. If you are making yourself right about negative views of teenagers or your teen, are you willing to be wrong?
"Own your story, you can transform it. What is your prescription for change? Your prescription for them(your teen), is your prescription for yourself! You can only be triggered by your own triggers! ‘If you spot it, you got it.’ If you see it in them, you’ve got it in you." They are our mirrors, and we theirs.
On communicating together, "Give yourself the prescription by asking for what you want. Stop playing the blame game, the win/lose game. What new action and commitment are you willing to make to yourself? Talk adult to adult with them."
We parents need to give ourselves permission to enjoy life in an easy way, the easy way we begrudge our teens for having. Chill out. "What energies ignite you and light you up in life? Visualize those things, turn them UP. Take permission to brag on your teen even if it’s an argument, say, "My teen has a voice!!!" "If you look for purple, you’ll find purple. Look for what you want to find. Create the positive list you want to live into.
"Create your own rules to win: 1) No one gets to be wrong. You are 100% responsible for your behavior (parent and teen), etc. 2) Teen being bullied? Tell them ‘You don’t have to believe the bully! You get your power back by not choosing to give them(bullies) power’. Point out that everyone has been bullied. Defy those negative beliefs. 3) Have one rule that wins your day EVERY day. Make it easy, a slam dunk, like ‘walking the dog’ or ‘blinking 5 times’. Then 4) Celebrate your win, with a cheer and a little dance."
"Control that little voice in your head. If you feed the ‘fear’ dog, it will get bigger and bigger. Which dog are you going to feed?"
On Teen suicide, "They need to know they’re not alone. They need to know others have gone through the same things and survived. If they need to cry, give them permission to cry for days and days to get it out."
Dr. Beth’s website is http://www.drbeth.com, Tweet @DrBethCP.
What do you think of talking to teens as if they are adults?
Remote Yet Not: 1 in 5 Teens Runs Away or is Thrown Away!
I saw a staggering report on the news of a nationwide bust of teen and CHILD SLAVERY AND PROSTITUTION. Defining characteristics and reasons for a youth to run away varies but reports are that runaways represent a full range of backgrounds. This includes all ethnicities, single and two-parent households and all socio-economic brackets from privileged and middle class to homeless families.
I had NO idea this problem was so large in this country! We’re talking over 2 million children and teens a year! I understand now why some parents of missing children ‘hope’ their child is at least still alive and, at worse, in some slavery/prostitution situation! It’s a fricking ‘way of life’… it’s own demographic!
Knowing where your child is at all times does seem to be a tall order especially if they have determined they want to run away but I beseech parents to give it all you’ve got and to pre-emptively strike against these outcomes with the emotional love tether of the parent/child bond. This tether, if weak now, can be strengthened with an ongoing, STRONG verbal and non-verbal communication program of BALANCED praise, discipline, affection and attentiveness. Twenty percent of teens running away or being asked to leave the home is OUTRAGEOUSLY weak, lazy parenting!
Some teens feel they simply must go because of abuse and/or neglect… That’s understandable but we simply MUST shore this problem up. We are the guardians of our future (our children), the direct descendants of God.
If there is a hell, do we really want to go there because we took our role so lightly?
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