My ‘voice’ tends to endorse corporeal punishment which is, these days, the ‘third rail’ of child discipline. Use sparingly. While I suppose we can all agree that a lot less of that and a lot more ‘psychological exercise’ in child discipline methods is in order, the tendency IS toward the spanking or the whoopin’, as we say. Well-rested parents do ‘psychological exercises’ almost exclusively.
Sometimes with parents who are tired and patience thin, the bull-headedness of kids, coupled with possible dangerous outcomes of the kids’actions, bringing a ‘sting’ to the kids’ ‘physical home’ registers the seriousness of the situation. It causes them to stop and think outside their ‘wanna have it my way’ box. Corporeal punishment given by a loving hand will record, with Love, the lesson.
As a matter of heritage, in my case, slaves were whipped to get them to do the master’s bidding. Evidenced by it’s immediate effectiveness, slave parents employed the same on their kids (and I know you know these parents were tired)! Little Johnny touching the hot stove is an effective lesson that the parent need not even observe. However, when little Johnny runs out into the street, a little sting with the admonishment helps him remember to avoid the street if Mom or Dad is not there.
Had the strict avoidance of corporeal punishment been employed BY ALL as far back as the 1800s, what kind of society would we have today? What are your thoughts on child discipline methods?
Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining! I know when ignorance is seeping in. They would have us believe that government cutbacks in schools and programs are due to the ‘bad’ economy but, really, it’s the master work of the 1/10th of 1% wealthiest people in the world who have set this crap in motion. If we’re distracted on the left with survival needs, we won’t see them steal our rights from under our noses! THAT is what’s happening.
My question to you is: What are we going to do about it?
Yes, they can shut the government down but WE can shut the WORLD down if WE refuse to play by their rules any longer! There was a time when parenthood meant something and the needs of parents were considered seriously because they/we held the future of our nation in our bosoms. Still do.
The constitution meant something because the nation was built ‘for the people’. The constitution is all but ignored. It’s romantic ideals plundered by the super-wealthy… the rest of us are left groveling for a few crumbs.
Child discipline is a BIG question. On a little visit with my 95 year old Muhdea, I took the liberty of asking her what she considered the best advice she could pass on to us from her 95 years re: child discipline. Her name is Mrs. Ella B. Surratt. Her heart…pure gold.
She and Mr. Howard Surratt raised 10 of their own children. Helped with their children’s children…and their children. It’s quite a brood. Can’t remember now how many there are. He’s passed on now. She’s the matriarch of The Family and has outlived her oldest child, Velma Juliette Willis, who passed on at age 79. Outliving your child is quite an emotional issue…even at her age. …but I digress.
Child discipline, her way, was old school. If you failed to listen and heed, a spanking was in order. You could count on it. It worked pretty fine. I know her kids and their kids… and their kids. None have been jailed, all of hers and Daddy’s went to college and are significant contributors to society. Mother & Daddy have also been known, with all the mouths of their own they had to feed, to take in a few strays, myself included. People like this are a blessing to the world. The discipline they instilled is a contributing factor to the loving family we enjoy.
What is your most effective means of child discipline?
#14 ‘Reward them and yourself with a hug daily whether they want one or not’ may be falling short of what is really needed in view the problem discussed in the article by Genevra Pittman entitled ‘Therapy Helps Relieve Stomach Aches for Some Kids’ . The study was done on children ages 7 to 18. Have a look at the article and what was observed.
In my opinion, more hugs and cuddles are what’s needed. If talk therapy is working after the fact then regular talk and hug sessions with the parents can be the ‘preventative measure’. Unexplained stomach pain could be signaling problems with being bullied or issues with making a good impression, acute shyness, difficulty with wanting to fit in with the cool kids and/or emotional neglect at home. Talk and hug it out regularly.
I know teenagers can be resistant to these sessions but gentle insistance from the parents makes it ok. If you’ve not been that kind of parent so far, ease into it. You both need to get used to it. BTW, electronics have no place in these sessions. Organic material only. They can be for 5 minutes or 50, just depends on the circumstances.
And, of course, my cure all, meditation. Meditation actually heals our bodies as well as our emotions when focused that way. Of all things we teach our children, meditation will carry them (and us) through many a difficulty.
Unexplained stomach aches must be something new. I don’t recall it being an issue when I was coming up. Neither my son nor his friends had this problem. Well, can’t be that sure about his friends but the Moms I spoke with did not mention this particular issue. I wonder how much of this is borne from the technological age. We NEED to ‘see’ each other, not have our heads buried in gadgets all the time.
How do you make sure the hugs and conversations are happening consistently with your children?
Top 20 Tips for a Better Relationship with Your Teen #19 is ‘Share funny stories of your life with them. Laugh with them often’. Really great if it’s a story from your teen years.
One of my funny stories is from my high school years. It was the Spring Festival and I was a star ballerina in a skit that was rehearsed as a serious, beautiful, spring movement. My partner was one of our star football players, one well accustomed to performing before crowds of people.
We rehearsed for weeks. Finally got it perfect…lifts and all. Day of the performance…on stage…he FROZE! I was running up to and into him expecting him to lift me, twirl me, regal me. Get a picture of me running to fling myself at him repeatedly and he’s frozen in place like a statue!
Every time I ran to the sidestage, I’d could be seen flailing hysterically at the Director, begging her to make him MOVE! I was distressed but the audience thought it was hysterically FUNNY! People thought it was HILARIOUS!
I wonder to this day if it was a setup…that the Director told him to freeze… The more I think about it the more I think…maybe…
Recent Comments