You’re visiting with friends who live on the border of Wyoming near Yellowstone National Park. It about 8p at night and they’ve left for the store. You hear a strange noise in the kitchen. You round the corner and find yourself eyeball to eyeball with a grizzly bear! Fear sets in. Should you slam the door and run or continue to stand there frozen and hope it doesn’t care?!! Anxiety has paralyzed you!!!

That’s what it like for some parents who have anxiety over being parents! This post is about the various forms of anxiety we parents feel and the effect it has on our integrity. Do you feel anxiety in your parenting?

What kinds of anxiety do you carry around? Many parents feel that if they could somehow maintain a friendship with their offspring their (the parent’s and the child’s) world would be happier but it’s really deeper than that. If they would just realize that their child comes here with ego and that their (the parent’s) current and long-term sanity are at stake, they would accept the help they so desperately need.

There IS this anxiety of being the disciplinarian or authority figure vs your child’s friend. Well, a friend is someone who knows you well and is fond of you. Someone who is an ally, sympathizer and supporter. If you’re on point as a parent, your offspring becomes your friend once they reach adulthood but they can’t possibly be that as a child. They don’t know you well enough yet.

What are they getting to know about you? Because they come here with ego, they’re getting to know you’re a pushover. How many times have you seen a parent helpless in the face of a tyrannical child? What was happening at home that gave the child the ‘authority’ to behave that way in public?

I have a Family System that I’ve developed that helps parents with this and many other aspects of parenting that stresses us parents out. Anxiety is a silent killer. Half the time you don’t even know it’s there.

What is anxiety? It’s worry and uneasiness over what MAY happen. It’s our mind riding us. It’s our hearts being squeezed.

There is the anxiety over bringing a child into this world in the first place! Horrible place that it’s perceived it to be, there is quite a bit of worry and handwringing over that. Every day in the news we’re reminded of what the ‘life sentence’ could be that we place on our sweet unborn child. If it’s not the violence of our fellow man, it was the violence of mother nature and freak accidents that send us into crying fits. I could see no joy in it. Why bring a child into this kind of world?

Do you worry over having the money necessary to support a child, a family? It’s right up there in the big three of anxieties and fears. The struggle many parents face in this challenge is overwhelming to the point of divorce. Would you let me help you jump this hurdle? It starts with losing the fear or anxiety that’s holding you back… eating at you in the background. We are HEROES and as such, we use every tool at our disposal to crush the enemy. Anxiety and fear are the enemy. I have the tools.

I worried about being smart enough or wise enough to influence the life of a child. I was worrying in a vacuum, not doing any research, just worrying. I’ve talked to more than a few young mothers and would be mothers who voiced the same concern.

Man! I wish I had mastered this information before my Son was born. I actually thought ‘winging it’ was what we were supposed to do! I did have the decency of forethought to ‘think’ that if I waited until I was older and more mature I would have all of the wisdom and knowledge I would need to raise a child… and so I waited. I waited, not knowing that the roots of old heartache and insecurity had not been killed. I reached a magical age limit preordained by biology and medical science that said, “It’s time” and I went forth and multiplied.

Anxiety is often brought on by the idea of being a perfect parent. Perfect parenting doesn’t exist and yet it’s available to everyone because we are perfect in our imperfection. Our imperfection is for the circumstance at hand, which is to expand and evolve into a better parent and person.

Besides, perfection is overrated; you’re perfect, then what? Seems to me decay is next. It’s all downhill from there! We’re being perfected as we go by the lessons our children teach us. Lessons children teach us galvanize us to a stronger, more joyful existence and an even deeper understanding of love.

Why must we address anxiety? Anxiety is a significant health issue and silent killer. It’s rooted in fear, causes stress and has a close relationship with depression!

It’s something we can pass along to our children. Do you want to do that? We all may appear to be separate from each other by our skin but our emotions and feelings do not have skin barriers. There is a constant ebb and flow on our emotional exposure. It’s part of the 93% of non-verbal communication. ‘Communicable’ emotion is what I call it. You know, like communicable disease…

We must address it and build up our protection from it from within. As in protection from any communicable disease (dis ease) we must fortify ourselves from within. How do you do that for yourself and then for your child? Remember, oxygen mask on You first… Do you remember why?

So how do we rid ourselves of this anxiety? The quality of your attention is the quality of your parenting results. Listen with your whole body as often as you can. Things have a tendency to get hectic. If one has a lot of background noise and emotion going on in one’s head and heart, one will miss a lot of what is said and totally miss important cues to what’s really going on in the child’s mind and heart.

Know that you are the perfect parent even if all you’re doing is what it takes to repair YOUR broken heart and emotions in a timely manner. How can you tell what’s broken? Start looking at those buttons that get pressed that cause you to fly off the handle or cause you to get a sick sinking feeling in your heart or stomach. Start to recognize the feeling before it’s a full blown negative reaction. Then take a break. Stop in the moment! Breeeeathe…. Get this right and you can have it all; calmness, peace and joy throughout the land and family!!!

Keep your balance. Balance feels good, gets and gives respect and sounds like the calm whispers of the wind, the soft purr of a jaguar engine or the crack of thunder in a storm. It depends on what is needed in the moment to restore balance. Leaning too far in either direction brings up a not so good feeling. That’s your cue. Where do you think the line is between irresponsible parenting and child abuse?

What are you going through right now? It’s exactly as you have requested, maybe unconsciously… I know, I know there are some who are going through some pretty rough experiences. Are you asking for a mess or attracting hardship? We are ‘made’, ‘born’ to ask and receive. The asking may have been ‘unconscious’.

Raising children is part of The Circle of Life. There is no point in having anxiety over their coming here. This is their world, just as it’s ours. They own it. We are all born to serve The Expansion of The Great Intelligence of The Universe. As bad as you may think it is, we’re ultimately just another stretch of Cosmic Imagination.

Your creation of a legacy of having the courage to do the right thing, having a will to create the family you want and finding a way, builds integrity in your child and family unit. Walk the talk. Parent by example. It’s easier than you think.

Would you like to eliminate fears and anxieties in minutes rather than taking months and years! Everything about us is communication and how we feel in all aspects of our lives. If you have fears and/or anxieties that stand in the way of you making the money you know you’re capable of or stand in the way of dealing with parenthood in a thoroughly loving and effective way, if you find you are often anxious over disciplinary issues or what the future holds, contact me through the complimentary parenting assessment at saveyourbreath101.com/parenting-assessment. It’s a $250 value for free for a limited time only. You’ll be glad you did!

You were born to be a HERO to your child. There’s a saying, “God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.” I believe this is true. Not all people are called to be parents AND many parents don’t pick up the mantle of being responsible parents, HEROES for their children, and our world suffers because of it.

THIS IS A CALL TO ARMS!!! I call now for parents who treasure all that is holy and sacred to take up arms against parenting by default, living in fear and anxiety and just generally feeling crappy.

Of the ones called, an HEROIC task is laid before them… Bring up the next generation of HEROES.

BE the light that shines for your child(ren) on the path to Infinite Joy. Give it to yourself first. Have your True Will. This doesn’t stop just because your child is now an adult. Even the grizzly bear in the kitchen senses unconditional love and will walk away.