You’re driving down the coast to Baja on your way to Cabo in your powder blue, 1965 Mustang convertible, the road collapses from beneath your car. You suddenly find yourself strapped in your car and into a battle with the roiling waves of the Pacific Ocean. Panic sets in.

That’s what it’s like for some parents who have issues disciplining their child(ren) or dealing with their adult offspring. They have a problem with ‘confrontation’ and being in integrity with what they know is best in certain situations. For many, it spills over into their other relationships also.

In the introduction scenario, the integrity of the road was necessary for a peaceful, enjoyable and safe arrival at your chosen destination (Cabo). The same is true for how we engage and discipline our offspring. The road is the integrity of the example we are for them. The chosen destination is a stress-free, happy, loving relationship with our adult progeny. The Pacific Ocean is the turmoil of life.

Many parents feel that if they’re too strict with their rules that they border on being hypocrites and their children will find them out and disrespect them even more than they do now but it’s really easier than that! If they would just realize having integrity, in discipline for example, helps keep their child safe, they would accept the help I offer to make their road smoother! I have a Family System that helps melt away these types of anxiety issues and more.

In this second quarter of The Save Your Breath Show, we’ll be exploring the integrity we instill (or not) in our family. I hope you were able to glean helpful information from our first quarter’s ‘communication’ theme. Communication is a perfect segue to integrity. Why is that? Because integrity must be effectively communicated.

What is integrity? It’s the uncompromising adherence to moral and ethical principles. It’s about the truth, discipline and core values you implant. As a tree is fed by its roots, so do our core values feed our spiritual lives. If we were to think of our family as a tree, the roots, trunk and branches (core values and parents) keep the tree going and the leaves and fruit (offspring) absorb energy from the Sun and air and feed our future. Our children bring us the future. (Case in point: they seem to come out of the womb knowing how to operate electronics!) The integrity of the roots and trunk of the tree supports, nourishes and prospers the family.

Why is integrity important? Integrity supports the desired quality we want in our lives. We go further in life socially and politically as we are known for having high levels of honesty and integrity. It promotes peace of mind and directs our future.

I like to use examples of me and my son. Here’s one. When he was a little dude, about 3 or 4 years on the planet, we needed to go to the grocery store. Since this was during the time when I was emotionally, and working my way into financially, devastated from the separation from his father, I’d lost my car. So, we had to walk. It was about 2 miles away from our apartment.

I did my shopping, we were headed back home, two bags worth and the weight of my purse, when I heard the sound of candy wrappers crackling behind me. My son had lifted some candy from the store and now felt he was at a safe distance away (we are about half a mile down the road at night, did I say we were on foot?) and could open it up and eat it!!!

I stopped us in our tracks and asked him, “Where did you get that candy?” I knew I hadn’t paid for any candy. “At the store,” he said, realizing something was wrong. I then went into the whole lecture of how that was stealing and we don’t steal and how that’s how people go to jail and prison.

I knew also that, as tired as I was, I needed to march him (us) right back to the store and find the store manager so my son could apologize for stealing, to drive the point home that this is NOT something to do!!! It’s called ‘Stop in the Moment’ and deal with the teaching moment in front of you. Integrity demanded that it happen that way. Do you see what I mean?

Follow through with what you know is right AND effective. There were many teaching moments. The one on stealing did not have to be repeated. Few needed to be repeated.

How do we instill it? We garner strength of character for ourselves and our child(ren). Make it easy. Make a note of this: Quiet mind, easy flow. Understand that you have this, already. Engage meditation, yoga and/or any ‘discipline’ YOU like to help you flow into your parenting duties with ease and finesse.

What if we don’t engage a deeper relationship with integrity? Well, life’s challenges, like the Pacific Ocean in the intro, can sweep them to the roiling dark side. They can be easily broken in spirit, even bullied. Feeling dishonored, they can lose self-respect. Haven’t you seen those people?

Look around you. I distinctly remember and still see parents who have dropped the ball and let their children run them. When was the last time you saw the fruit of a tree dictate to the trunk? We are The Heroes in our homes and Heroes thrive on integrity.

Michael Bernard Beckwith says it’s “Being About Truth: As you begin to study the wisdom teachings of the ages and be about the truth, the fruition is the realization of integrity. Integrity is about being integrated with the spiritual values of The Universe. It is also about being happy, because happiness and joy mean that you’re coming into integrity with your soul.”

Do you feel this is true? I do. I’ve done this very thing he states above: study the wisdom teachings of the ages, been about the truth. I have a strong foundation in integrity because of my Mother. Coupling that with the wisdom teachings of the ages and the emphasis on the truth, I couldn’t help but want to help as many parents as I can. Been there, done that. Conclusion: parenting can be fun and easy.

How will you know it’s ‘working’? Overheard information, for one. Some years later, my son and I were invited to the country home of a very supportive family of friends of mine. Thank God they were there for me through some difficult times. Anyway, it was Christmas. Families had converged on the home from all over the United States. My son and I were late getting there, it was about 10p or so when we arrived.

As we walked in, the adults in the house were in a little bit of agony over the noise the kids were making in the attic. They couldn’t get them to pipe down. They said to me, “Your turn. We’re tired of going up there and telling them to do to sleep. Good luck.” So, I got my son ready for bed. We climbed the folding ladder up there and the kids scampered for their cots.

My son found a spot and got tucked in. I told them, “If I have to come back up here because you guys are making noise, I’m going to separate you and put you in different areas of the house away from each other. Do you understand?” Kids, “Yes.” Me, “Is that what you want?” Kids, “Noooo.” Me, “Good. Then don’t make me have to come back up here. I don’t like climbing that ladder!”

As I descended the ladder, I heard my son say, “And she’ll do it too!” We didn’t hear a peep out of them for the rest of the night. THAT’s how you know it’s ‘working’. Compliance, overheard information and stealth observation.

The core of who we are relies on integrity. From the spiritual to the cellular level on denser! The integrity of our ever mysterious hormonal system and how it works, the integrity of the workings of our internal organs and blood flowing, nourishing every cell, the integrity of our skeletal and muscular systems, the integrity of our brain to orchestrate everything, all would be lost without the integrity of the system.

Our relationships and social systems need integrity the very same way. Systems of government and social order are just extensions of The Ever Greater Integrity we are all needing to have to have what we want. I’ve seen a significant amount of integrity go by the wayside.

I write this and do The Save Your Breath Show as a means for reminding us all of how precious we all are and how dire the need is for us to get back to integrity. Look around you. See what’s happening in our world. Without integrity, we’re doomed to destruction.

I have The Family System that I have created from the gathered wisdom of the ages and experiences I’ve had over the last 66 years. Systems in place allow us to have integrity in our approach to our goals. Do contact me through the Parenting Assessment found at saveyourbreath101.com/parenting-assessment if you feel you need help. I offer a Complimentary Parenting Breakthrough Session (a $250 value for free!) and/or a Get Out of Stress Session (which is not complimentary).