Anxiety over having children is justified. (Myth) Truth: Raising children is part of the Circle of Life.
I’ve heard people say more than one time that this world is too fearful and scary to bring in a child of theirs. This is totally understandable. My feelings were the same oh so many years ago.
What needs to be understood, though, is that hormones and the ‘prime directive of the universe’ will probably override this feeling of being scared. There is no point in this fear. Resistance, as The Borg would say, is futile.
We are born to serve The Expansion Of The Great Intelligence of The Universe. Our part in it is not arbitrary. Our part is to be born and play. That is all. Some of us are naughty little children but fortunately, the vast majority of us are not. Don’t let the transgressions of the few keep you from getting the most out of your life, which may include having children.
I know the naughty ones appear all powerful but that’s just media hype. Step back and take the view from outer space. See how beautiful our planet is. Come closer. Observe the might of our oceans. The comely seduction of our rolling hills and mountain tops. Look at your loved ones, feel them. The Love is the thing. Immortality is secondary.
And the weather? What of the hell the weather brings? What about horrible accidents of all kinds? It’s really all the same as it was for your parents, grandparents, great-grand parents and ancestors. They had the same lament. Life goes on. They too said “How can I possibly bring a child into this terrible world?”. The beat goes on …the drumbeat, your heartbeat, the beat of a thousand centuries. The Love’s the thing. Immortality is secondary.
It’s the Collective’s show AND each individual’s show. The best we can do is model and teach our children how to win and attract the best of experiences to themselves. They will come through to this experience, with or without you. What YOU bring to your role makes all the difference. Enjoy your life …with or without child and remember- The Love’s the thing. Immortality is secondary. Come play with us. Be brave.
My email address, rowena@saveyourbreath101.com , is working for now until I finish my offer page. If you are stuck and I can help, nothing would please me more. What I want to know right now is “what is my next step to work with you”?
The idea is to get out of the FEELING of parenting prison (that’s what it is) and into paradise, to get out of pain and into pleasure, to get out of darkness and into the light!!! My friends, I’ve been there – parenting prison, pain and darkness and I couldn’t WAIT to get out! So tell me, what do you need? Do you even know?
Email me at rowena@saveyourbreath101.com.
I have gone from all of those dark places and into the light. I went from near homelessness to living in 2400 sq.ft. at the top of a hill with a 180 degree view of San Francisco Bay. I came from hunger and getting food from the United Way to feed me and my Son to stacked bottles of Mumm champagne and lobster dinners whenever I want one. I’ve come from having no money to having the money for everything I need. From parenting hell to a full chill, understanding that I was the problem. I can fix ME!…. paradise was the outcome.
What about you? Are you ready to ditch it?! Ditch the pain, the darkness, the prison? I’m building my contacts, looking for my tribe, for now at rowena@saveyourbreath101.com.
Raising children is all-consuming. (Myth) Truth: Raising children is an extension of yourself.
Many have great concerns that raising children is all-consuming, will devour their lives and destroy their independence. Feelings of claustrophobia envelope them when they think of all of the responsibility parenthood entails. They cherish their freedom and cavalier existence.
The truth is: raising children is an extension of yourself. Just as the universe is always expanding, we too, as part of this great universe, expand. Parenthood is a high calling to expand your greatness. We expand in many ways obviously; i.e. physically, intellectually, spiritually and in the case of parenting… the combination of all three.
The physical expansion? Well, there are at least two of you now, right? Intellectual expansion? Parenthood can sharpen you up REAL quick! Spiritually? I’m lumping the emotions in here with the spiritual because they are quite related; no greater love exists than the love felt in the family unit. The emotions literally swell into the spirit and renders one helpless with unconditional love and the glitter of divinity.
When the high of all that levels off, you are thrilled to be consumed by it. You can scarcely remember what you life was like before. You’re bigger, fuller, deeper and are now literally, as someone once said, “watching your heart walk around outside your body”. It’s a profound experience. It calls you to be the BEST you you could possibly be. An experience that, though challenging, makes you happy and proud you are equal to the task.
Just because our parents had to say it themselves 10,000 times does not mean we do! It’s tedious, boring and stressful for us but the child may need to hear it 10,000 times to GET IT!!! In the old days schools cropped up on the prairie and parents were free to do other things. Washing machines were invented and parents no longer had to wash clothing, sheets and towels by hand and hang everything up to dry on the lines outside. Since dishwashers were invented, people don’t want to wash a single glass by hand anymore!
Why? Because with all that needs to be done, we need the help!!! Same deal with repeating the same training lines to our kids for years on end. Save your breath for the warm and loving things your family longs to hear.
Let the Save Your Breath CD and the Save Your Breath App for Android say it for you sometimes! After a while, they’ll do as you ask the FIRST time you ask because they don’t want that CD put on or to have you block the service on their cells!
Parenting Myth #2: It’s Stressful. Just do what you can. They’ll be alright.
Truth: Raising children is manageable. You need to know what to do.
As I think about adults perpetuating their childhood pain, I recall my own childhood. Now, looking back, I see how very vulnerable and acceptance-seeking I was and still am. I’ve learned a lot over the years that has helped me get over most of the vulnerability and seeking of acceptance but I still cringe at how inept I was in the raising of my Son. You see, a lot of the sweet spot of child-raising-wisdom did not dawn on me until he was an adult. A tad late I think and a lot of dollars short.
My life in poverty as a child being raised by my single mother, younger brother in tow, had no room in it for new shoes and clothing, eating out (we were lucky to eat at all many nights), Christmas presents, birthday parties, birthday presents or fun paid adventures with friends. A step-father entered the picture and it improved a little bit but by that time I was in my teens; the emotional battle scars of ‘not having enough’, harsh discipline and a cold-hearted mother had firmly fixed their grip. I would only come to know later as an adult that I looked too much like my biological father for her to love me or, rather, show the affection toward me that I so desperately needed.
Fast forward into adulthood. (She got me there.) Try as I may to avoid the pattern my Mother had set, I fell lock-step into every groove. The names and timing had changed but the love hang-over was the same. Here my Son was. Yes, I was married but it didn’t last. It couldn’t. I had no great example to follow. My college education did not include this training in its curriculum. My childhood pain was repeating itself. This time with my Son as the star. The most significant difference I see is the amount of affection given. Fortunately for him, he looked only ‘sort of like his father’ to me. There is no one cuter in the whole world. …seriously.
The discipline though? …all Mom, corporeal. It’s all I had to go on, especially when the chips were down and I found myself losing my marriage. It was a long drawn out process that found me depressed most of that time. I think I’ve only come out of it here recently. When one is depressed, one is not apt to recognize or seek help. That was me.
Two decades later, Save Your Breath was born because I wanted to help parents avoid many of the mistakes I made over the years and mostly, of course, to help with the stress factor. Though parenthood is one of THE most stressful undertakings imaginable, blessed, but stressful, it is TOTALLY manageable with the right tools.
My Son is doing very well. In spite of it all, I did manage to get Life’s most powerful core values instilled. …More apologies may be in order. Let’s not have a bunch of crap to try and undo. Varying degrees of damage can be avoided!
What is an example of a childhood pain you are repeating with your child or children?
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