"Psychological aggression is a pervasive trait of American families: Verbal attacks on children, like physical attacks, are so prevalent as to be…universal." ~ Straus and Field Report. Seriously people, what goes around, comes around. Is this what you really want?
Just blogged urging parents to ‘Make New Friends’ if they feel they need to be friends with their child. Parents are far more than ‘friends’ to their children. We have a sacred job requiring we live up to our child’s need for strong role models of discipline, focus & unconditional Love. We are the Chancellors and Deans of Home University!
When it comes to being a parent, we must REMEMBER that we are their ‘Parents’ and not their little friends. We are the Chancellor and Dean of their Home University! We set the curriculum, play activities and devotionals! Let us understand and appreciate that what the child learns at Home is what sustains them (or not) at the CORE of their being for the rest of their lives!
Sounds serious, doesn’t it? It is. It’s serious and it’s also extremely beautiful. Love makes provisions for everything we need. We need children to cultivate our loving natures and to help us advance the human race. It’s a God thing.
We need friends because they, like our children, are reflections to us of how we’re doing. They’re sounding boards for us when we try out ideas. They support us emotionally when we are going through a rough patch. Friends revel in our successes and bring us chicken soup when we’re sick. Our children are to be spared this responsibility. They’re not qualified to be friends with us. It is a handicap on them should we place them in the role of friend.
If we are so insecure as an adult that we’re needing to have our children as friends, it is necessary that we cease that nonsense immediately and get professional help. If our discipline of our children is weak, inconsistent or non-existent because we don’t want them mad at us now or when they become adults, get professional help NOW to free these faulty feelings. Do not weigh children down with the yawning heaviness of your adult insecurity! Find adult friends with whom to talk!
We are not their little friends! If we find our children talking to us in a disrespectful way, as if we are their friends or on their level, we have only ourselves to blame. It is a first indicator that we have been lax in our role as Dean, Chancellor, Fearless Leader, Protector of all things beautiful and sacred in Home University!
Do you feel the need to be ‘friends’ with your child? What do you do to make new friends?
Deep seated hatred for Mom and/or Dad may be influencing your relationship with your child in a negative way. To what extent have you owned up to this possibility?
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