Children get a kick out of getting a rise out of their parents. Why is that? Well, engagement, on any level, is a sign of life. New humans LOVE engagement with their parents. If positive attention is not happening for them, negative attention will do just fine. Child behavior is largely about recognition and getting our attention so that we can fill a need that they have that they often cannot name. The tricky part is having parents discipline THEMSELVES in ways that are the most nourishing for their little bio-identical replicas.

When we parents understand that the buttons our children are pushing are OUR buttons and WE are the ones responsible for the disarming of them (the buttons), the whole dynamic in the engagement tone with our children shifts. Whether we are whispering sweets nothings to them or explaining the law of the house, we then stand (with new insight) in an adult, mature power that inspires cooperation and respect. (They already love us.) The button generator is OUR childhood.

Here now is a call for us all to examine our ‘buttons’. I’ve been taking a good look at myself and my ‘buttons’ and, I tell ya’, I was once a frickin’ computer keyboard of buttons, a veritable 20-story elevator panel of buttons! Just let me be a little too tired to take responsibility for my reactions and my son’s ears would singe! …for starters. Much better these days, thank you, but clearly…overwrought for nought. ALWAYS worked out better for me to engage in calm adult maturity.

How about you? Have you looked at self assessment?

Chat up line of conversation that has been swirling about for as long as violent video games have existed: The harm they do to the growing minds of children. Repetition of good activities yields good results. Repetition of violent activities yields confrontation, belligerence, aggressiveness, etc. perThe Palo Alto Medical Foundation (and me).

Let’s see to it that our children are repeating activities that are good for them. New Parenting methods for this digital age helps but I say we go back to old school one-on-one, in-your-face, parenting love. One thing that nourishes whatever that activity is is parents playing WITH them. This ‘play’ should be physical and outside whenever possible. In winter; board games, cards, puzzles, music, art or building projects do everyone’s mind good!

I know. There’s the energy factor to consider for the parents. Working all day, chores and dinner in the evening…Hey!…How about enlisting/teaching the offspring to help with these things. Sure, it requires more emergy up front but over time, they develop into real helpers that SAVE you energy when YOU are older and leaking age-related energy!

Sharing my passion for art paid off and actually surprised me when my Son and I participated in a street painting festival in San Rafael when he was a tyke. He created a far more interesting work of art than mine that weekend. I was so proud, impressed and bonded in yet another way.

What do you do to actively play with your children? Share with me some of your child engagement ideas.

Constant repetition of good activities yields good results.

Constant repetition of violent activities yields bad results.

Any questions?