Pressure of all kinds gets us down. The exertion of force (pressure) upon and from our minds cause many a health crisis, many deaths. Dealing with pressure, for lots of parents, is a full time activity. This heaviness can pass from us to our kids if we are not careful.
Social pressure (a term I associate with adults) and peer pressure (basically the same thing but I associate it with kids) to me are subtle forms of bullying. From a practical standpoint, this type of thing is fed by our own energy. Understanding this first and foremost goes a long way to the actual cure, solve and/or dissolve of pressure.
It is self-imposed. When we teach our kids this basic understanding it can waylay a lot of fear and sleepless nights. For parent and child.
How do we stop feeding pressure? Take your foot off of the gas. Relax and know all is well. Teach your kids how to meditate. Have them tap into that silent part of themselves (and ourselves) that makes everything happen (or not). Tap in, revere the silence for a while, then visualize the outcome desired. Let go and let God (or The Universe, however you identify Our Deity) and take appropriate actions with Joy. This is the best we can do. This is all that is required of us!
Of course, this is how I see it. How do you ease your units of pressure?
Do parents generally lose sleep at night over the same things? i.e. Finances, College Education for the kids, Training, Discipline, Helping kids cope with peer pressure, Education… I think it a good idea for us to vent together and offer solutions to each other! An old African proverb states that it ‘takes a village’ to raise well-balanced kids. Let’s be our own ‘virtual village’!!!
What have I left out that keeps you awake? What else is there?
One of the reasons my Save Your Breath CD exists is because the requesting of my son to do his part to maintain the cleanliness and/or order of his room and/or himself was constant. I understand it. I remember being a kid and thinking cleanliness and order was something adults worried (needlessly) over. You and I now know the reasons for these ‘things to do’.
Go on and explain the reasons why bacterial infection and mold infestation are to be avoided. Show graphic pictures if necessary! Dirt and its accompanying foreign microbes, foci and fungi are fun playmates for VERY short periods of time! The Golden Rule comes into play. Smells. ‘Stink unto others as you would have others stink unto you!’ Have they ever smelled a skunk or rotten egg? No? Help them with that. Teenagers don’t mind being as eyesore but that smell thing works!
Of the foundational ‘work ethic’: this begins a certain key element…doing a job well done. Our first job (from childhood to the grave), ‘caring for self’, begins the ‘How to’ basic first guide for doing a job well…clean neck, ears, brushing teeth long enough…
Tell them "establishing habits for this basic care of ourselves enhances our ‘good health’ experience…keeps us out of the doctor’s office and reduces the number of needle pricks one must endure". Tell them that this care for themselves helps them to grow up (significant infections would impede or stop their growth) and be grown-ups! Then no one can make them take a bath again! They’ll like that but…we know that… by then…it will be too late.
A parent pointed out to me that the term ‘parental control’ did not resonate with her. Just curious…How do you feel about this term? Is ‘parental control’ a term you would use?
Own your parenthood! #1 Tip of 20 Tips for Better Management of Your Teens = ‘Know where they are at all times. Freedom comes at adulthood’. This means keeping tight track of where your little (and not so little) bio-identical replicas are at all times. This is level one, ground floor, foundational!
There have been mothers over the last years or so in the news that made their truant sons hold or wear sandwich signs on the street for hours stating their transgressions, i.e. cutting school, selling drugs, stealing, bad grades… you get the picture. Many point at a ‘system’ that doesn’t help get their sons straight. Kris Jenner talks about how Khloe Kardasian would sneak out of her bedroom window to go hang out with her boyfriend (and eventually lose her virginity) at 14.
I applaud the passionate stance these Mothers took with their sons. Khloe turned out OK but for her and legions of others, it could have also gone VERY wrong. Some kids don’t make it back to the ‘sanctity that is home’, however defined in a particular household.
Neglect is a form of passive child abuse. Keeping good tabs on kids helps you avoid a form of physical neglect and let’s the child know you love them. These days, with the ‘village’ lacking, the
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