Informational Archives - Page 18 of 38

Make New Friends

by Rowena Starling | Feb 12, 2016 | Informational

When it comes to being a parent, we must REMEMBER that we are their ‘Parents’ and not their little friends. We are the Chancellor and Dean of their Home University! We set the curriculum, play activities and devotionals! Let us understand and appreciate that what the child learns at Home is what sustains them (or not) at the CORE of their being for the rest of their lives!

Sounds serious, doesn’t it? It is. It’s serious and it’s also extremely beautiful. Love makes provisions for everything we need. We need children to cultivate our loving natures and to help us advance the human race. It’s a God thing.

We need friends because they, like our children, are reflections to us of how we’re doing. They’re sounding boards for us when we try out ideas. They support us emotionally when we are going through a rough patch. Friends revel in our successes and bring us chicken soup when we’re sick. Our children are to be spared this responsibility. They’re not qualified to be friends with us. It is a handicap on them should we place them in the role of friend.

If we are so insecure as an adult that we’re needing to have our children as friends, it is necessary that we cease that nonsense immediately and get professional help. If our discipline of our children is weak, inconsistent or non-existent because we don’t want them mad at us now or when they become adults, get professional help NOW to free these faulty feelings. Do not weigh children down with the yawning heaviness of your adult insecurity! Find adult friends with whom to talk!

We are not their little friends! If we find our children talking to us in a disrespectful way, as if we are their friends or on their level, we have only ourselves to blame. It is a first indicator that we have been lax in our role as Dean, Chancellor, Fearless Leader, Protector of all things beautiful and sacred in Home University!

Do you feel the need to be ‘friends’ with your child? What do you do to make new friends?

Hatred Deep for Mom &/or Dad?

by Rowena Starling | Feb 12, 2016 | Informational

Deep seated hatred for Mom and/or Dad may be influencing your relationship with your child in a negative way. To what extent have you owned up to this possibility?

Easy Destruction – Parent Crash!

by Rowena Starling | Feb 12, 2016 | Informational

Hard drive to easy destruction. Are you allowing stress to drive you into parent crash?

Mirror Mirror

by Rowena Starling | Feb 12, 2016 | Informational

Do you recognize the reflection of yourself in your children? Does your chest swell with pride and recognition when your child excels in a task? I suppose that is a whopping ‘Yes’ to those questions. We all relate very well and see ourselves somewhat in the accomplishments of our kids.

Now, how about when the child is misbehaving, ignoring you, talking back rudely? Do you recognize yourself? Does your chest swell with pride? Well, it should. That chip off the old block is doing a replay of that sweet song you used to play for YOUR parents. Ain’t it grand. Aren’t cha’ proud?

Now, about your reaction to these fun-mirror distortions of yourself… Do you get hopping mad? Fly off the handle? Find yourself struggling to keep your cool? Fret not, mes amie. All you have to do is remember that it is really YOU that you are seeing and suddenly your compassion will ease your anxiety. I know there is a chance that you never indulged in the EXACT displays of perniciousness displayed so often before you but a rose by any other name smells just as sweet.

What to do? Stop. Breathe. Breathe again … then think. ‘What would happen if I did nothing?’ Many times doing nothing is so unexpected that the shock of it spoils the kids’ fun and they drop the activity from sheer wonder or boredom. Not an option? Low, even, calm tones when speaking as you physically remove or direct the move(s) of the culprit help to re-mind the little (or not so little) darling who is really in charge of this operation (Home University). Whatever you do, do not get into a shouting match. It puts you on their level and in their eyes, corrodes their respect of you.

This is just for starters and mostly to re-mind YOU that we are all mirrors to each other. Even our kids to us.

What do you do when you encounter outrageous behavior in your child?

Creating vs Work

by Rowena Starling | Feb 12, 2016 | Informational

I hate the word ‘work’. Oxen work. Humans are Creators. Janitors and Maids ‘create’ clean environments. Moms and Dads ‘create’ happy children. Children ‘create’ good grades. How much happier would we all be if we change that one word?