by Rowena Starling | Aug 11, 2016 | Informational
Your kid is having a tantrum, bouncing off the walls, pounding the floor in one of the nicest restaurants in town. He wants his dessert first and all of the people in the restaurant around you want him to have it! All eyes are on You and this irascible child. The maître d’ comes over, grabs your child, says “You can have him back after dinner” and carries your child away!
Hello, I’m Rowena Starling welcoming you to The Save Your Breath Show where we help parents eliminate the stress and aggravation of parenting whether your child is 5 or 50. Today’s show is about nutrition and the various chemicals we absorb into our bodies that cause us to misbehave and/or feel ill. Your child in the introduction is one who is sensitive to sugar yet is addicted to it.
“Each year, around one billion pounds of pesticides are used across farms, forests, and lawns in the US.1 Around 17,000 pesticide products are in use right now… Research reveals that only 0.1% of pesticides applied reach the target ‒ the other 99.9% impacts the environment. Pesticide residues are widely found in animal feeds too ‒ 80% of corn and 22% of wheat produced in the US each year find their way into animal feed.” ~ Environmental Protection Agency
Why are we looking at nutrition and the things we eat today? Our brains are of primary importance and I believe we take them for granted. Nutrition, what we eat, sets us up for failure and success. I want offspring, as well as parents, to respect the weight of the importance of what we put in our mouths and the effect it has on our health and happiness.
Parents, in particular, need heed because our offspring are watching what we ‘do’ more than what we ‘say’. We parents need to explore more the various ways we can rescue ourselves from bad eating habits. The ‘exploring’ can be fun!
Nearly every chronic and devastating disease known to mankind has it’s root in what we’ve eaten or ingested in some way. What are you putting on your skin? That’s another way of ‘ingesting’!
What then is the effect on your perception of what’s going on with your offspring? What kind of communications are you putting forth? What effect is it having on your integrity? Are you ‘aware’?
“The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison.”
~ Ann Wigmore, American Holistic Health Practitioner and Doctor of Divinity.
We have evolved from the rickets and scurvy of yesteryear and we’re still evolving. We’re living longer than ever before. However, our minimum unmet daily recommended vitamin intake is huge and our immune systems are slowly turning against us. Because we’re not getting the exposure to germs that we once did, we have more allergies and asthma than ever before. Something virtually unheard of in our farming days.
What are you allergic to? To what is your offspring allergic? Do you know? Perhaps THAT is why they’re having problems concentrating or whatever the problem is. It’s pretty easy to recognize a problem if you or your child has hives all over the body. It’s quite another thing if we’re not considering the effect of food, medications or allergens on how we feel and react to life.
What’s your nutritional style? Mine is green and yellow vegetables with a helping the size of my palm of protein thrown in for strength plus a random dose of fiber for good measure? That’s my favorite.
Organic food vs. processed food: the big issue of the day. We want to eat organic but cost is an issue. Processed food is cheaper and often tastier but it makes us sick and kills us faster. Hmmm, which one is really the most expensive then?
Food is a profound love-connection that we all share on many different levels: a connection to the food itself, to each other, to our self-worth, to societal class, to love. Food is our love-connection to mother earth, our physical aspect. Food needs to be revered as part of the foundation of our physical love itself.
Have you ever had someone say this meal was made with love? The infusion of this bit of ether, Love, can literally make you well. The chicken soup loving made my Mom makes you well. It’s infused with the ether of Love. Mom’s Apple Pie, cakes and what not. Oh! You know it’s true. There is no negative effect of the sugar in Mom’s baked love offerings!
During the family meals around the table, we gather and distribute the ether of Love, one to the other… even if there’s discord. Love is there. Gathered around the table, looking at itself.
My food story, growing up poor. My mother often had no food to feed my brother and I. Being 4 yrs. older than he, I got more of these days than he did. The feelings are indescribable, as a child, when you to hear “We don’t have food today”or “There’s nothing to eat tonight.”
Can you imagine how my mother felt? I often wonder if I’ve made up for that lack of nutrients as a child. To this day, I have an obsession with food to the point that I barely finish one meal before I’m thinking about the next. I’m much better now than 10 years ago but still, is chalking it up to ‘proper meal planning’ really fooling myself? My solace is knowing that the meditation I engage in heals all deficits.
So, how do we handle this nutrition issue? 1) Whatever you do, include full doses of Omega-3! Buy the best food you can afford. Preferably the kind that grew directly from the ground or walked on it. Affordability is an issue for many.
Many parents feel that buying organic whole food is too expensive but it’s really deeper than that. If they would just realize that cheap food is more expensive in the long run, then they would make a point of buying the best and freshest food they can. Max out vitamin & mineral supplements! Our bodies are our personal temples!
Pesticides are the main reason organic is so big. Soils that have been cultivated and saturated and turned over and over year after year with pesticides and then used to grow crop after crop of sprayed produce is the issue. So yes, if you can afford organic, please do. Eat organic fertilizers vs. inorganic fertilizers.
Our vitamin and mineral intake is poor. Get the highest quality supplements you can find and pound them in. The people at Consumer Labs at https://www.consumerlab.com/RDAs/show a minimum and maximum supplement requirement. Do the maximum. With QUALITY supplements, you’ll find you and your family will feel better, behave better, stay healthier longer and become stronger physically and mentally.
2) Slowly or gradually rid yourself and family of bad eating habits. Cold turkey is no fun and causes quite a bit of unnecessary rebellion. Steady, consistent replacement of the bad with the good is the way to go.
3) You may need to have allergen tests done. Doctors, holistic practitioners and nutritionist have the best referrals for this. You don’t want to keep blaming yourself or your kid for some behavior that’s needing a dietary shift!
4) Look at your emotional attachment to eating, unhealthy or otherwise. There are various means of getting rid of unwanted emotions, thus getting rid of the problem. Would you like to eliminate unwanted emotions, fears and anxieties in minutes rather than taking months and years?!! I can help.
If you have fears and/or anxieties that stand in the way of you making the money you know you’re capable of or stand in the way of dealing with parenthood in a thoroughly loving and effective way, if you find you are often anxious over disciplinary issues or what the future holds, contact me through the complimentary parenting assessment at saveyourbreath101.com/parenting-assessment. It’s a $250 value for free for a limited time only.
What if we decide to ‘just do it later’? Well, problems persist and continue until we get around to it. Is that what you want? Behavior problems, health problems, the brain doesn’t get what it needs, the body doesn’t get what it needs. Then you have you have to ask yourself how much you really Love…
Mysterious illnesses are not mysterious. Many times they are simply an answer to neglect. Do you want us all to start looking like the people in some impoverished 3rd world country?
You were born to be a HERO to your child. There’s a saying, “God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.” I believe this is true. Not all people are called to be parents AND many parents don’t pick up the mantle of being responsible parents, HEROES for their children, and our world suffers because of it.
THIS IS A CALL TO ARMS!!! I call now for parents who treasure all that is holy and sacred to take up arms against parenting by default, living in fear and anxiety and just generally feeling crappy. Of the ones called, a HEROIC task is laid before them… Bring up the next generation of HEROES.
BE the light that shines for your offspring on the path to Infinite Joy. Give it to yourself first. Have your True Will. This doesn’t stop just because your child is now an adult.
Since you knew and trusted the maître d’ in the beginning intro of this episode, you allowed him and his staff to ‘babysit’ your son while you and the rest of the restaurant patrons enjoyed a quiet dinner. You were very grateful for this help as you have very few dinner nights out because of your son’s behavior. You have a clue now as to what to look for and you’re relieved that there’s hope. You can see it all getting easier now….
by Rowena Starling | Jul 28, 2016 | Informational
You’re on vacation, hiking in 90degree weather in a wildlife reserve near the Florida Everglades when suddenly you notice you’re being stalked by an alligator twice your size! You break into a run and find yourself at the edge of a cliff! There’s a rope tied around a stake at cliff’s edge. You jump onto it and scurry down halfway only to find a swamp full of alligators below!!! You’re hanging there, up to your ass in alligators wondering what you’re going to do when you notice an open doorway in front of you in the side of the cliff. You swing in and find the most beautiful and cool paradise you’ve ever seen…
Hello, I’m Rowena Starling welcoming you to The Save Your Breath TV Show where we help parents eliminate the stress and aggravation of parenting whether your child is 5 or 50. Our agenda for this third quarter of the year is ‘The Body’. So much of what stresses us parents out has to do with the behavior of our children that I wonder whether we understand the importance of the effects of nutrition, exercise, hormones and brain disorders of the offspring and parent.
Why dig into these subjects? Is your body hurting? Does your offspring have a physical ailment or behavioral tick that annoys you? Visiting the importance of these components of our physical selves helps us take actions that cut problems off at the pass. Wouldn’t you like to address a nutritional issue that eliminates a developmental problem and get some measure of relief now rather than have it blow into something worse later?
Our bodies are the ‘canary’ in the coal mine, so to speak. Are you familiar with this saying? It an allusion to caged canaries (birds) that miners would carry down into the mine tunnels with them. If dangerous gases such as carbon monoxide collected in the mine, the gases would kill the canary before killing the miners, thus providing a warning to exit the tunnels immediately.
Our bodies warn us of dangers in much the same way. Did you know that “on average, illnesses and disease are approximately 40% advanced in your body before you ever experience your first symptom?” I learned that recently from Dr. Linell King, author of MASTERING VITALITY, 7 Simple & Sustainable Steps to Lose Weight, Live Pain Free, Energize Your Life and Gain Power NOW. Don’t we owe it to ourselves to make our lives as healthy, easy and fulfilled as possible?
Too many of us are too tired, sick and/or dying from the stress of being up to our asses in alligators. In fact, according to the Center for Disease Control, it’s seven people every two seconds. Wouldn’t you like to have us break this cycle? Wouldn’t you like it broken for your offspring?
“Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.” ~Doug Larson, Journalist and Humorist
So, what will we be talking about? It will be ‘nutrition as it relates to behavior’ (parent and child), ‘food as connection’, ‘exercise’ (dance, sports, martial arts) as it relates to behavior, disciplines and the way they work’ to promote our best, outdoor activity, (the effect of oxygen, etc.,)(parents and child), ‘hormones, as they relate to behavior, age related {brain/mind}, teens, herbal remedies, wholistic practices, image, body consciousness (teens’ privacy issues), togetherness vs. separateness (physical closeness and communication). Recreational activity = re-creating, fun, and not to be taken lightly.
Since the body is our physical representation here and we’re bound to protect it as best we can, I think this is a good time to emphasize a ‘call to arms’ that guards against parenting by default when ‘default’ means we’re just winging it in an irresponsible and/or negligent way. Many parents think that (we) are our bodies and because we’re so ‘close’ to it, we can afford to ignore what best for it (us) but that’s really where the problem starts. If they would just realize that “today, more than 95% of all chronic disease is caused by food choice, toxic food ingredients, nutritional deficiencies and lack of physical exercise” (Mike Adams, The Health Ranger) and our behaviors are absolutely affected by it, they would accept the help they so desperately need on all fronts.
Ignoring the signals of what’s happening to our bodies is only part of the problem. The real problem is being too stressed-out to care. Isn’t this the real crux of the issue? I have created The Family System that helps parents conquer stress and the many vagaries of parenting. When we have The Family System in place we can efficiently incorporate everything else we need. The Family System is you swinging into doorway of the mountain into beautiful and cool paradise.
Love of ourselves in a deep and abiding way is the answer. As we love ourselves in a deep and abiding way, it naturally spills over into our parenting and by extension to our fellow man/woman. We begin to look with a curiosity at annoying behaviors and thereby offset a lot of stress simply with that outlook. You see what I’m talking about?
How will we go about this? Research. I have a wealth of knowledge and I will have guests on the show as they become available. Nutrition, exercise, hormonal flow, clean water and air engage the healthy function of the brain (which runs the body). How do you know that the difficulty your offspring has in following instructions is not related to the poor absorption of nutrients their brain needs?
We parents are notorious for grabbing something fast to eat and being on the go. What are you grabbing? Have you considered how it makes you feel?
“Eating high-quality foods that contain lots of vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants nourishes the brain and protects it from oxidative stress — the ‘waste’ (free radicals) produced when the body uses oxygen, which can damage cells.” ~ Eva Selhub, M.D. There’s that ‘stress’ word again. Popping up in unexpected places… How does it then cause you to behave toward yourself and your family?
Do you ask yourself ‘How can I make my life easier’? Even if we thought of ourselves as ‘bodies’ only, wouldn’t it make sense to have it running as smoothly as possible by giving it the best of all it requires? If it’s receiving the best of all it requires, can you see how that would go a long way toward ease and happiness?
“The greatest wealth is health.” ~ Gandhi
Our communications with ourselves is beyond molecular and cellular. Thoughts come from the ether. When they hit the molecular and cellular level of our existence, wouldn’t it be a good idea to have our molecules and cells be receptive in their most healthy state? I submit to you that if the cell is bent, the thought is bent, then we’re off to the races with hypotheses on why such and such is not going the way we planned or wanted. “Why am I having to repeat myself over and over?” “Why are ‘they’ behaving in such an obtuse manner?” “Why can’t I seem to relax?”
What if we decide all this body stuff is ‘just too much trouble’ and ‘just another thing for me to do’? Look around, most of us live in a pretty stinky world situation. We get to have continued stinkyness and stress from dealing with unruly offspring and crazy world leaders if we ignore this call. Which, then, is truly ‘too much trouble’? The richness of Love and all it implies is lost in the inefficiencies of body systems.
Would you like to eliminate fears and anxieties in minutes rather than taking months and years?!! If you have fears and/or anxieties that stand in the way of you making the money you know you’re capable of or stand in the way of dealing with parenthood in a thoroughly loving and effective way, if you find you are often anxious over disciplinary issues or what the future holds, contact me through the parenting assessment at www.saveyourbreath101.com/parenting-assessment and receive a Complimentary Parenting Breakthrough Session. It’s a $250 value for free for a limited time only. You’ll be glad you did!
You were born to be a HERO to your child. There’s a saying, “God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.” I believe this is true. Not all people are called to be parents AND many parents don’t pick up the mantle of being responsible parents, HEROES for their children, and our world suffers because of it.
THIS IS A CALL TO ARMS!!! I call now for parents who treasure all that is holy and sacred to take up arms against parenting by default, living in fear and anxiety and just generally feeling crappy. Of the ones called, an HEROIC task is laid before them… Bring up the next generation of HEROES.
BE the light that shines for your offspring on the path to Infinite Joy. Give it to yourself first. Have your True Will. This doesn’t stop just because your child is now an adult.
Swing in as you did at the beginning of the show. Enjoy the beautiful, cool scenery that’s laid before you once you go within. Come out with a deeper love of yourself that says ‘I am taking excellent care of my body and sharing that wealth of information with my loved ones’.
by Rowena Starling | Jul 20, 2016 | Informational
Do you feel the pressure on your tween to be sexy? This whole ‘body’ thing is pretty annoying for us parents when our children hit 10+ years. It’s beyond awkward to know what’s coming in adulthood and trying to hold the process at bay until you can get your bearings.
“About 20 percent of tweens engage in some type of sexual activity. … the numbers are … so high and often result in the rampant spread among sexually transmitted diseases as well as teen pregnancy. About three in 10 teens will end up pregnant before they graduate high school.
The number of tax payer monies that go toward the assistance of these often unwed teen moms totals about $18 billion in spending each year in the United States. Because these tween sex statistics are just a part of the problem, it is important for parents to take an active role in talking to their teen about sex, STD protection and birth control at a younger age, even if it seems like the teen or tween is too young to know about sex. Unfortunately with the portrayal of sex on TV, in movies and online, children, tweens and teens are going to know about sex whether adults want them to or not. ” ~ Teen Pregnancy Statistics
Do you remember ‘wholesome’? Is this idea a throwback that is so far back that I’m the only one who remembers it? Wholesome: promoting good health and well being, healthful. Can we bring wholesome back? If we parents were to put focused energy into having ourselves and our offspring be healthy in an overt way, one could easily have ultra-safe sex be part of the conversation!
Our children are being targeted for sexualization at very young ages. It is our parent responsibility to monitor what our child is buying. The buying starts with the looking. It’s sort of like watching media, TV and movies with your child to explain what happening and to find out what they’re thinking about what’s happening. Adult content is EVERYWHERE. If you’re doing this moment to moment, it’s dialog, dialog and more dialog.
Body image is very important to most of us. I know that and I understand that peer pressure is HUGE in the teen years but these years, in particular, are ripe with the opportunities for massive mistakes because of this kind of pressure. It’s very much like placing a machete in the hands of a drunken pirate.
“Sex Education – A controversial course that parents argue about while their kids are out doing the lab work.” ~Richard E. Turner
Parents must resist being bullied themselves and teach their kids what it means to develop character, integrity and self-respect. The very act of resisting pleas to purchase inappropriate garments teaches strength and character simultaneously. It reinforces lessons in integrity.
Word is that tweens and teens are holding quite a bit of ‘bank’ themselves. They have jobs or hefty allowances so it stands to reason that we must remove the dollar factor and dwell exclusively in health, well-being, self esteem and smart options for their futures!
Having our teens learn to recognize what products and attitudes to ignore in advertising helps them to be strong as adults when they need to do the same. Having them ‘dare to be different’ from their peers builds character and, yes, the strength to say no in their adult years. They need to practice NOW.
So, how do we approach conversation on this subject, in general, with our tweens and teens? Well, raging hormones are real. All you have to do is remember what that period of life was like for you at that time. Take a little time (or more) to revisit those years.
My clients often say they can’t remember back that far. Was it really that far back? Many of us are still at the effect of some persistent hormonal activity, if we’d just chill out enough to observe it and what it does to and for us. Grab a cup of tea, sit back and muse on it for a bit.
Ask questions. Listen. Pull up specific instances from your past, experiences and things you observed in others and share them with your tween/teen. Be vulnerable and let them see you’re human. Share a mistake you’ve made or almost made and the cost of it.
I hear that girls giving oral sex to boys at school and at parties is common!!! They “don’t consider it ‘sex’ so it’s OK”! … Don’t be surprised if you hear something like that come out of your child’ mouth, not that you will. Just LISTEN. Brace yourself to be ‘cool’ whatever you learn. If you’re too reactive, they won’t tell you anything else.
Be ready with your advice in worse case scenarios. Be ready with ‘why’ giving boys oral sex in the bathroom or anywhere else is ‘not OK’. Somewhere, not so deep inside, there is a ‘knowing’ of what self respect is.
When self respect is ignored, it creates a sick spot in the mind and soul. With little to no self respect, we’re literally making ourselves sick… slowly at first, then before you know it, alcoholism and rugs finish us off to the point where we’re merely shadows of our former selves. Tell THAT to your tween, ask “Don’t you like yourself better than that?”, then listen for the answer.
What are they sharing on social media? Could they be sexting? Get into a conversation about how that affects their future earnings as an adult. They do want to become an adult, don’t they? What kind of adult? Ask questions. Choose your settings and moments carefully but choose them.
Riding in a car with young males is a particularly good time to casually talk about important things. You’re both looking mostly ahead and it’s less confrontational.
We’re bombarded with advertisements! Sexy products are a slippery slope to premature sexual activity. Let’s stand against pandering to our kids to fatten someone else’s wallet. Let’s demonstrate a healthy appreciation of class, dignity and finesse. Our child(ren) are watching and learning from everything we do.
Don’t parents have enough to do? You may be asking yourself this question and the answer is ‘yes’. We have enough to do AND we can do this easily because we’ve been there before ourselves. We were here on the planet first, then came the child(ren)! We simply need to think of this as ‘easy’. Perception is everything. How we view any experience or task influences how we feel. We make things hard or easy, dull or exciting and everything in between.
You can never quite get your bearings because you and your child(ren) are ever changing and if you have more than one child, every child is different. So, getting your bearings is out of the question. What you need is the chill factor and the ability to roll with the waves of discovery. Practice it.
If you’re one of these people who are prone to drama, hysterics or harsh discipline, you’re not going to get ANY information. Tweens and teens have secrets. They don’t tell their parents about important things in their lives precisely because of the way they fear their parent(s) will react. So they sit alone in problems.
What do you think about this kind of pressure? Do you have fears and anxieties over having this kind of communication with your tween or teen?
Would you like to eliminate fears and anxieties in minutes rather than taking months and years?!! If you have fears and/or anxieties that stand in the way of you making the money you know you’re capable of or stand in the way of dealing with parenthood in a thoroughly loving and effective way, if you find you are often anxious over disciplinary issues or what the future holds, contact me and receive a Complimentary Parenting Breakthrough Session through the parenting assessment at saveyourbreath101.com/parenting-assessment. It’s a $250 value for free for a limited time only. You’ll be glad you did!
You were born to be a HERO to your child. There’s a saying, “God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.” I believe this is true. Not all people are called to be parents AND many parents don’t pick up the mantle of being responsible parents, HEROES for their children, and our world suffers because of it.
THIS IS A CALL TO ARMS!!! I call now for parents who treasure all that is holy and sacred to take up arms against parenting by default, living in fear and anxiety and just generally feeling crappy. Of the ones called, an HEROIC task is laid before them… Bring up the next generation of HEROES.
BE the light that shines for your offspring on the path to Infinite Joy. Give it to yourself first. Have your True Will. This doesn’t stop just because your child is now an adult.
We’re probably not going to have these kinds of talks with our adult offspring but if they have tweens of their own, it wouldn’t hurt to remind them of a few of these points… if they’ll listen…
by Rowena Starling | Jul 14, 2016 | Informational
You’ve taken your kids and the neighbor’s kid out for a fun afternoon at the beach. You’re lying on a cool towel on the hot sand. Your eyes are closed. You can smell the salty ocean and hear the crashing waves a few feet away when suddenly the neighbor’s kid dumps a bucket of sand in your face!
Our topic today is Technique vs. ‘The Calling’ in Parenting. ‘The Calling’ is one of the very first steps addressed in The Family System I’ve created for parents. I find it humbling as I was once quite clueless as a parent and made many mistakes along the way. Help was very scarce. Do you want help that you can’t seem to find?
Many parents feel that the frequent and often rude instances that interrupt the quiet, peaceful enjoyment of their parenthood moments are the cruel joke of parenting that was withheld from them until it was too late. That the pain of parenting must be endured endlessly but it’s really deeper than that. If they would just realize that their parenting is a Calling, the context of their experience would shift, the rude instances would diminish and their outlook would become more beautiful!
Having the topic be technique vs. calling is a bit of a ploy on my part because technique is useful in parenting as well. Wouldn’t you say we parents need all of the help we can get?!!! I just tend to think we rely on technique or seek it out a little too much.
So, what do I mean when I say parenting is a calling? How many of you like the idea of having done a good to excellent job of parenting? How many of you value the heartfelt aspect of parenting almost to the point of distraction? Are you one who is dissatisfied with parenting by default?
Through the work I have done over some 40 years or so, I have developed a set of skills that have elevated my own sense of parenting and yielded the realization that parenting is a ‘calling’. The use of these skills not only enhanced my parenting experience in a good way but my personal and professional experience as well. Would you would like to have a set of skills that elevates your parenting to a calling while simultaneously enhancing your personal and professional experiences?
A calling to parent, in the context I’m speaking of, is ‘a strong inner impulse toward being the best parent you can, especially when accompanied by the conviction of divine influence. You are ‘called’ by God to oversee the development of God’s progeny. When you see it described this way, can you see why I call parenting a calling?
So, why place the emphasis on it being ‘a calling’? I do that because the ‘conviction of divine influence’ part sets us free. It renders the whole process and ‘technique’ aspect of parenting easier. An understanding of this ushers in the finesse I’m so fond of promoting!
Are you tired? Even exhausted? It’s this ‘divine influence’ that gives you the juice to sprint forward with joy and glee! As you sprint, you take your child with you!
When we frame our parenting experience as ‘a calling’, we can get out of the way a little bit and let the easy winds of divine purpose blow through our activities. We can engage creativity and inspire our children to curry our favor (that means they’re more cooperative). Do you think they are totally oblivious to you? Oh, no. They ADORE you!
For example, I have a client, and by the way, I change the names of my clients in my stories to protect the innocent. Most have or are working through some pretty painful, private issues and prefer I keep their identities confidential. Anyway, I have a single mother of 3 children who obviously loves her kids more than anything but they get on her last nerve.
When we first started working together, she felt the whole parenting thing was just some cruel joke that God put upon us all to amuse Himself. I knew exactly what she was talking about because I felt the same way for a long time. She said, “I feel like I’ve been walking around in a continuous fog of post-pardum depression for the last 6 years.” It occurred to me that she probably was!
After working together for a month or so, this depression subsided and she felt like she was finally breathing clean air again. Her children, though still wild, chilled out quite a bit. Mother and sons are all now able to enjoy ‘quiet time’ together. “THAT is something”, she said, “I never thought would happen!”
She says, “Understanding that I had been ‘called’ to be a parent gave me a perspective as the Hero of my family and it empowered me. Feeling more power, taking better care of myself, I thrive and see my children mostly as the charming mischief that they are! Would you like to have her view?
So, how do we absorb this ‘calling’ mindset rather than the constant technique seeking many of us do? Make a note of this: Integrity is The Hero’s way. Step into your integrity and reinforce your core values. Examine yourself and find out what you really want for yourself and your family.
Doing this has a way of making it so and smoothing out the wrinkles in our day. At the root of our integrity is our ‘calling’, that still, quiet voice that says “I trust you to be the guardian of our future. I’ll give you the truth of what’s good for us all.” Do you trust yourself?
You, my Hero, what you want comes in ‘the gap’ of the extremes. You want out of hell and the feeling of being in parenting prison and you want all of heaven and freedom! You want out of debt, depression and arguing and you want all of positive outlooks, peace and Joy! To get from here to there you need to assess your position and move through the paralysis and disappointment to meditation, relief and surrender. I’m not talking about ‘surrender’ as in giving up the valuables as spoils of war. I’m speaking of surrender as in ‘surrender the wheel, you’re driving into a wall’!!!
Do you know techniques have their place but you will have less need for them if you’re coming from a place of power in the first place? It’s pretty amazing to find that once you shore up your inner space, many things in your outer space are suddenly resolved! This tends to render a lot of techniques unnecessary.
If you’re feeling like anything less than the Hero that you are, chances are you’re not meditating or doing the thing that gives you air and feeds your power. If you are doing it, are you doing enough of it? Even more pointedly, are you teaching it to your children? Of course you put the oxygen mask on you first but please don’t forget to put it on the children!!!
Do you have specific fears, anxieties or phobias? Would you like to literally pluck them out first so that you can start with a fresh clean slate? I can help you do that in minutes rather than months and years. Is this something you would like to do? I simply help you get in touch with a certain natural ability we all have to rid ourselves of these negative emotions.
So, what if you decide to keep the status quo? Are you too tired to check into your ‘calling’? Then you get to keep a lot of fatigue, mishaps and you miss out on working with me! But seriously, I submit to you that on the other side of fatigue is the breath of fresh air, the insurgence of energy and the co-operation of your babies to a greater degree than you now see. As the saying goes ‘Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered. There was no one there.’ You’ll open the closet to where the money boogey-man lives and find there is no one there.
You know the saying, ‘If it is to be, it’s up to me’? Imagine a world where all of us parents recognized our divine calling to raise the next generation of heroes!!! Can you literally see world peace in our grasp if we seize the opportunity to have parenting be more loving AND easier? Collectively, we can make that happen!
This is a ‘Call to Arms’ to every parent that treasures all that is holy and sacred to take up arms against parenting by default, living in fear and anxiety and just generally feeling crappy. Of the ones called, an HEROIC task is laid before them… Bring up the next generation of HEROES. BE the light that shines for your offspring on the path to Infinite Joy. Give it to yourself first. Have your True Will. This doesn’t stop just because your child is now an adult.
I’m offering a Complimentary Parenting Breakthrough Session (a $250 value for free) while supplies last! Just complete the Parenting Assessment located at saveyourbreath101.com/parenting-assessment. I also have Get Out of Fear and Stress Sessions, though they are not ‘complimentary’.
Thanks for reading. Talk to you soon. I bid you Peace and Eternal Joy.
by Rowena Starling | Jul 5, 2016 | Informational
Why do the problems in parenting persist generation after generation?
Here’s one: “There should not be one new dime in tax breaks for millionaires and billionaires as long as millions of children in America are poor, hungry, uneducated and without health coverage.” ~ Marian Wright Edelman
Imagine we’re in third grade. We all got a glimpse of what it meant to truly create and focus, then went out to recess… and never went back into class. We played and worked at play and played and worked at play, and worked and worked and stressed ourselves, raised families, prematurely aged, got sick and died and did the same thing lifetime after lifetime. Like in the movie ‘Groundhog Day’…
Stat: Approximately 57 percent of all children in the United States are living in homes that are either considered to be either “low income” or impoverished. ~ The Economic Collapse and Global Research
Recess doesn’t just happen at school. What about today’s economic environment and today’s recession? Oh yes, we’re still in recession, people. What about the stress of all THAT on the backs of parents?
Money is one of the BIG issues that parents have been struggling with for generations! I often wish we would just GET OVER IT, already! But that is not to be as long as we are on recess, hanging out on the playground of denial.
Denial is a form of recess: a hollow place, a (supposedly) temporary halt of work or session. When we are ‘at work’ or ‘in session’, we set goals and make advancing progress on what we say we want. The trouble is, we are somehow hypnotized into believing it’s up to others to give us what we want, that they hold the reins of power over us, that we’re helpless against them and that simply isn’t true.
‘They’, in this case, is not just the millionaires and billionaires who we imagine are sucking all the money to the top and unwilling to slice off our fair share but it’s also the ‘others’ that have the power to hire and/or fire us right in our own environment! ‘They’ are in my way and I can’t have what I want or need! Oh, woe is me!!!
If you would step back and observe, you would see that in spite of this ‘problem’, we are all still here and we persist through thousands of years. There are those of us who settle into a ‘what’s the use’ attitude and remain in the financial class of our parents or lower and there are those who, against all odds, rise above the family legacy. These are the ones who have come in from recess, from a financial stand point.
I liken it to the question of how thousands and millions of people are oppressed by one person: the slave owners on the plantation, the people of North Korea, the people of Zimbabwe. Just think of it! Millions of minds, brains bossed by 1 !!! Wow. Come on now. All it takes is… oh please. I’m not going to spell this out. You get my meaning.
Why do we allow this to happen? When did we go out on recess? We allowed this to happen by thinking of ourselves as bodies rather than the child of God that we are. We went out on recess with the ‘rise of capitalism’ and ‘when the west was won’. To many of us it was all just ‘too much’. Our loving, human, altruistic sensibilities were devalued. We allowed it. We buried our head in the sand, we went out on recess and our heads have been buried in the sand ever since.
Conspiracy theories aside, systems are in place that keep us so buried in ‘survival’ that we don’t have the time or energy to look up, assess where we truly are in a deep way, where we want to go and the best route for getting there. Once we do that as individuals, then band together as humanity, what we want will get done. It’s important that we KNOW we will get it done.
How do we get over it? How do we come back from recess? How that is done is not technically a secret anymore. If we dig for the answer it can be found. It can be googled. Our many diverse brains and living situations call for custom solutions. It’s the beauty of being human.
We’re special and individual and need to 1) give ourselves that recognition personally and in a deep way. To do it in a deep way requires us to 2) stop in the moment, give ourselves quality moments to sort our feelings and then, recognize our power. Our loving, human, altruistic sensibilities are the liquid gold we then infuse into the top 1/10th of 1% richest humans. Many there have forgotten who they are and that they are part of US! There are basic human amenities that we all require and are entitled to: wealth, food, shelter, education and health.
Yes, I said wealth, a large amount of money. We’re all entitled to have it! Does this feel like a foreign concept? Do you really think you were born here to suffer, struggle and die? We’re discontent because we ALL KNOW better! Let’s break these chains of thought that ‘others control everything’ and 3) free ourselves! Wasn’t it The Funkadelic that said, “Free your mind and your ass will follow”? Yep. It’s true. I have direct experience of that.
Would you like to eliminate fears and anxieties in minutes rather than taking months and years?!! If you have fears and/or anxieties that stand in the way of you making the money you know you’re capable of or stand in the way of dealing with parenthood in a thoroughly loving and effective way, if you find you are often anxious over disciplinary issues or what the future holds, contact me through the complimentary parenting assessment at saveyourbreath101.com/parenting-assessment. It’s a $250 value for free for a limited time only. You’ll be glad you did!
You were born to be a HERO to and for your child. There’s a saying, “God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.” I believe this is true. Not all people are called to be parents AND many parents don’t pick up the mantle of being responsible parents, HEROES for their children, and our world suffers because of it.
THIS IS A CALL TO ARMS!!! I call now for parents who treasure all that is holy and sacred to take up arms against parenting by default, living in fear and anxiety and just generally feeling crappy. Of the ones called, an HEROIC task is laid before them… Bring up the next generation of HEROES.
BE the light that shines for your offspring on the path to Infinite Joy. Give it to yourself first. Have your True Will. What is your True Will? Have you taken the time to sift it out? Just stopping to examine it and then acknowledging it starts the wheels of its manifestation!
I suspect a big part of it, way back in the corner of your mind, is setting the world straight for the fair gain of your offspring for when they’re due to hit the income earning years. A big part of it is surely to have them recognize their power and learn how to exercise it. They learn best what they observe in you.
This doesn’t stop just because your child is now an adult. Of course, you may no longer be able to influence your adults as you did when they were a child but it’s YOU that has to receive the healing if your relationship with them appears to be lacking. Remember, we’re all mirrors for/of each other.
The paradox is: what appears to be giving you more to do, is really, ultimately, freeing you up and allowing you to have more fun and finesse in your activities. When the end result is more money in your pocket, doesn’t that feel freer? Isn’t more fun and finesse in our activities what we really want?
Swing into the zone of understanding how truly powerful you/we are. Do you5)meditate? Whatever you do, enjoy the beautiful, cool scenery that’s laid before you when you go within. Come out with a deeper love of yourself that says ‘I am taking excellent care of myself, financially and otherwise and sharing the wealth with my loved ones’.
I have a high interest in people having access to answers! Recess is over! Some of us just didn’t hear the bell. There is a line in consciousness that one crosses that allows, not only an easier time with raising children, it helps enhance all aspects of our lives, even making money. It’s a spiritual ‘yeast’ that expands us in all directions. Thrilling events occur when we tap into this part of ourselves in earnest. Care to tap in with me?
Are you ready to come back from recess?
by Rowena Starling | Jun 30, 2016 | Informational
Do you suffer from parenting guilt because your offspring turned out to be ‘a bad guy’? Do you have contempt for YOUR parents?
Heart problems often start once the kids are grown. Well here we are in a brand new half-year with a brand new start. I’ve taken a bit of time out to assess my objectives and I’ve come away with a startling conclusion. I feel like a fraud.
I have to say it. My so-called advice and wisdom on parenting comes with more than a little regret. My own Son, who is now 30+, alternately seeks my advice and counsel or holds me in contempt. I’ve had to take the time to sort this out. Here it is:
For those of you who have minors still, just know that when they grow up, they become who THEY are. It will be tempting to blame yourself for their perceived shortcomings. BANISH the thought!!!
Per the American Psychological Association: “Researchers may never be able to put a number on how big an influence parents have on their children, says Loyola University’s Fred Morrison, PhD, who studies the influence of parenting on school achievement. In terms of academics, some recent studies suggest that 50 percent of the variation between high-and low-functioning children results from influences that occur before children enter school. But even the half that results from influences after children start school may be mediated by family factors. For example, Morrison and his colleagues find that social skills, including a child’s ability to sit still and concentrate, have an effect on academic performance. “All of these things are intertwined,” says Morrison. “And parenting adds up to a lifestyle that funnels into the language, general knowledge, reading and math skills that children start school with.” Meanwhile, none of the arguments or studies by developmental psychologists dissuades Judith Rich Harris from her view that “genes and outside-the-home environment have a greater influence than parents on children’s personality development”.
I prefer to think of our influence and the environment we provide as parents as being up to about 70-80%. It’s an intuitive thing I have that informs that opinion, not science, as far as I have been able to find, Yet!
For all of the molding and building we do as parents, the fact remains that we are merely the ushers, the conduits of the future as our parents were for us. How deeply do we blame our parents for our shortcomings? How much love for our parents is sacrificed because of our upbringing, THEIR lack of wisdom?
In the final analysis, how much of who we are today is really THEIR (our parents’) fault? Do we as adults take responsibility for our lives or do we still, like whiney teenagers, hold our parents in contempt for all that they were able and unable to do for us?
Why do we let this stuff run us? These phantom fingers of pain and guilt are nothing more than the mind noise we allow to sap our love. There are so many other, better things to do with our time and energy: there’s money to be made, homeless families to help find food and shelter, animal rescue operations with which to volunteer, save the planet and trees operations, local church drives of various sorts. The list is nearly endless! Key word here – ‘allowing’ it to sap our energy. Remember: You are still the boss of you!
I know, I know. You like wallowing in that ‘love’ thang but once our offspring are adults, we need to take our ‘separation exercises’ seriously. We need to inject Joy into our activities by remembering what we loved to do before child or what we’ve always dreamed of doing but never had the time. Make the time for it Now!
How do we save ourselves from ourselves? My favorite means is meditation. Yes, there are a thousand ways to do it. The point for me is to have that silent communion with The On High. Why else bother? Do you have a favorite means for communing with The On High?
To do this, I sit comfortably in a quiet place, back straight but balanced so there’s no tension in my back muscles. I often use earplugs in to block outside noise and my eyes closed. I go to silence within about 5 to 10 minutes, sooner if I’m already pretty relaxed and I hold silence for at last as long as it took me to get there!
People new to meditation normally take longer to get to silence. Make it easy on yourself and start with just 5 minutes at a time. You’ll build your length of time through practice, as you would a muscle. When you build into 15 minutes of silence, your golden. Any length of time past that is gravy.
Yoga is meditation that incorporates exercise! Perhaps this is your cup of tea. Again, there are many types. It’s just a matter of finding the one(s) for You! Some martial arts have the same type of consciousness bent with more intense exercise. At my age though, I think I’ll damage myself if I engage one of those… OR you can do none of the above!
Meditation, per se, is not necessary when you recognize you are already in constant communication with The On High aka God and operate on a moment to moment basis with that understanding. Meditation comes into play when you find there is too much noise in your head blocking this ‘direct’ silent communication. THEN you (I) need to engage meditation to enlarge the silent spaces in your (my) mind for throughout the day. You get my meaning here? Is this the way you understand it?
Heaven forbid you have boomerang offspring (adult offspring living with you) or are suffering from empty nest syndrome (you’re grieving your adult offspring having left home)! Hopefully you’re not having to deal with a lot of lip and attitude if that’s the case. That would definitely be adding insult to injury, so to speak.
Can you get any comfort or insight from your experience at that age with YOUR parents? It sometimes helps to pull that memory up and be as honest as you can about what was happening then. Are there any solutions you can glean from that memory? It can be quite amusing to remember our attitudes from back then. It can be even more insightful to remember our parents’! What did they do right that you can use? What did they do wrong? Do you want to use it?
All in all, I say we need to guard our health through all this. The pre-mature aging thing is getting a bit ridiculous. Let halt that ugly soldier in it’s path. There are way too many of us wearing our stress on our faces! The good thing is, if we can see it, we can make haste to do something about it. The bad thing is, many of us think that look is normal. It ain’t.
Do as Elsa in ‘Frozen’ says, “Let it go…oooooo.” Peace of mind is an option and a choice. Choose it. It may seem glib in the face of what you’re going through but I assure you. It can be done. If you need help with that, let’s see if I can help you! Learn how to let it roll off of you like rain on a duck’s back. And if it’s more like a storm rather than rain, please do go within. Come within, out of the storm. You are not alone.
Let’s get over ourselves. Our parents were not perfect nor were theirs. Maturity dictates that we don’t blame the angels for God’s work. The beauty of life is that we are able to expand in ALL directions once we reach adulthood. The trick is getting to adulthood! Some don’t make it. Don’t blame yourself! Let’s love our humanity, our parenting, warts and all. Tote that barge! Lift that bale! Turn that kid’s cell phone off!
Would you like to eliminate fears and anxieties in minutes rather than taking months and years?!!! If you have fears and/or anxieties that stand in the way of you making the money you know you’re capable of or stand in the way of your dealing with parenthood in a thoroughly loving and effective way, if you find you are often anxious over disciplinary issues or over what the future holds, contact me for the Complimentary Parenting Breakthrough Session initiated at saveyourbreath101.com/parenting-assessment. It’s a $250 value for free for a limited time only. You’ll be glad you did!
We are placed here on earth to have fun. Somewhere through the generations, we lost sight of that or completely forgot it!!! Bring that BACK to the front of your mind. Dance with that idea. Revisit your 20s if you think that will help. Our hearts are ours. We must protect it!
Let’s forgo heart problems.
Heart Problems from ‘Once the kids are grown’.
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