When I think of saving my breath, I have a number of different fronts to address. There is the literal ‘save your breath’ as in ‘clean the air’, there is the figurative ‘save your breath’ as in ‘stop talking, no one is listening’ and there is the ‘save your breath’ that is the combination of the two and speaks to saving your life. Many meditation practices recommend we begin the practice with focus on the breath… the gentle inhale and exhale that keeps us alive.
Our children need to be taught at a young age how to calm themselves through the focus on their breath. Through their QUIET release of thoughts with every breath, a deeper silent conversation beings. In this silence, their problems can be conquered. The sooner they learn this, the happier they’ll be…. and happiness is what we do EVERYTHING for.
A combination of clean air and silence cannot be beaten when it comes to mental clarity, understanding paradox, accessing wisdom and paradigm shifts. I’m in the midst of a shift right now. I know, I know, I’ve been shifting for quite a while now but I finally have the right gear. I’m taking my own advice now and saving my breath. Saving it now for what I really want to say and shifting to that ULTIMATE happiness available to us parents NOW!
What is this ULTIMATE happiness available to us NOW? KNOWING that as we seek it, it is seeking us. KNOWING that we have been found and our children, our lives are cues for our DECISION to ‘click and accept’ it! Happiness is a choice.
What difficulty do you have, if any, in maintaining your happiness or bliss?
Parents! Relax! All is well. All you need is an endless supply of cash, energy and patience. What you need is a means to usher in various opportunities for the aforementioned amenities to manifest!
Now, I know you think I’m being glib about this but I’m serious. It is in the ‘quiet’ moments, the ‘peace’ of mind, that we are able to bring forth our most efficient ideas for wealth creation, our most laser focused energy, our deepest reserves of patience when most needed (be it child discipline, nutty adults or bad traffic).
I propose, to help us usher in various opportunities, that we ‘seize moments’. We take hold of them, capture them and melt into them silently, thoroughly, lovingly. Melt into moments and extend them into minutes, then hours. From this exercise, will materialize, surprisingly deep wells of patience, a fulfilled life fed by lots of energy and mountains of cash. I know. It’s happened to me. I’ve done this before.
But, how to ‘seize the moments’? When you find yourself at the end of a sentence in your busy head, stop there and hold the silence, the space between sentences, for as long as you can. When I find myself ‘waiting’ anywhere, I ‘seize the moment’. When feeling compelled to ‘say it for the hundredth time to your kid’, put the Save Your Breath CD on to say it for you, then go ‘seize the moment’.
What other ways can you think of to ‘seizing the moment’?
2 Year Olds don’t have the brain power for ‘time-out’s. You get to be at home, not social. Use it as a meditational period. You only frustrate yourself & damage the child when you attempt time-outs. RELAX and BE with them on their level. This too shall pass.
Are YOU responding to them like you’re the two-year old?
#15 of 20 Tips…. Let them see you doing or having done what you ask of them
If we couch many of our lessons/teachings to our children as ‘rites of passage’ into adulthood, I think we would get more cooperation, less resistance. There is nothing a child wants more than to hurry up and be an adult. I remember it well.
Consider the household chores we ask them to do, the respect we ‘demand’ they show, the grades we want them to aspire to in school… Tell them stories of your experiences in various instances and segments of learning in these areas that you had with YOUR parents. Tell the funny stories, the sad stories, the thing you’ll never forget and why!
For instance, as a little girl, I loved to ‘tell it’. I’d tattle tell to gain favor. Once, too often I guess, I ran my mouth about something my Mother did not want told or maybe it was backtalk or curse words. She trotted me into the bathroom and washed my mouth out with soap! As I got older, she would tell me to "think before you speak". Everytime she said that, I’d remember the ‘mouthwash’ and would diligently remember to do it.
When my Son was coming up, I don’t recall ever having to give him a ‘mouthwash’ but I do recall asking him if he wanted me to wash his mouth out with soap. He declined the offer and I didn’t have to make that offer to him ever again. He is a smart guy. I could literally see him ‘thinking before he spoke’ from then on. He got testy as he grew taller than me but alternate reminders of manners and respect cut those episodes short. Besides, I made a point of him watching me lift heavy weights on a regular basis. He already knew I am cunning.
So, do you share the funny stories from your childhood with your child(ren)?
Own a ‘thorough lover’ relationship with money. Have you ever had a ‘thorough lover’? One who makes sure you are taken care of first? One who lingers…a long time…in caress of all of your sweet spots? Who strokes your mind, gently blowing cool-hot thoughts over your overheated coals? (To help cultivate such, refer to Tanja Diamond’s courses, & Chrystal Bougon’ssite ). Your relationship with money should be like the one had with a thorough lover.
Just like with a thorough lover, when it comes to money, attention to detail heightens the ‘enthusiasm’. There are numerous details involved with the proper handling of money. The least of which is to ‘feel good’ about it at all times. "Feeling good‘ is a deliberate act that says "I am centered in full attention to the appreciation of you". Then, as you would hire a master masseuse, masseur or luxury spa makeover for your lover, have experts give loving attention to every detail that makes your money grow.
As with a thorough lover, when it comes to money, attention to detail produces ‘maximum satisfaction’. This growing of it is the desired result. ‘Maximum satisfaction’ is to have the bursting, full flowering of thundering digits at the desired moment in time. Continuous, flowing waves of cash washing your retirement shores.
You know what else? Parents applying the same loving, thorough detail in their approach to parenting, will slow down and savor more of the little things, be calmer, more ‘present‘ and patient with their kids. More ‘present’ and loving to themselves as individuals. Happier.
I know. The economy is pressing more sweat on people but my point here is: take time out for the thorough lover approach in all that you do. Time is an illusion that you can bend to your will. Linger…a long time… in tender caress of all of Life’s sweet spots knowing that this pleases God and all is well….even money.
What was the most recent non-sexual moment that you held for a long time in soft caress?
Parenting help for single parents is a momumental problem! The lack of having the other parent is a hardship and deprives the child of the important influence of the other parent and especially if they are the same sex parent… But REMEMBER, at our core we all are entities that are sexless spirit. Having your child grow up to be a good and HAPPY person is the goal and MOST important thing.
– Cleaning clutter when NECESSARY serves to give yourself a break! It’s not ALWAYs necessary. It’s more productive to cuddle than to scream and constantly clean.
– Children NEED to participate in household chores and upkeep. It helps you, trains them for taking care of themselves and builds character. Make a fun game of it and when all else fails and it’s not a matter of life and health, most times you can let it go.
– Pull your air-mask on first, then the child’s (as they say in airline safety drills). If you perish or deteriorate from stress, what good are you to them then? Take your ‘time-outs’ too!
– Meditation and prayer inject strong doses of health, wealth and HAPPY into (family) life. Use profusely. Single or married, how we conduct and ‘handle’ our lives sends a strong message to our children. Give them the best and strongest headstart by stepping into your own happiness.
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