Investigate before condemning. Too often we jump to conclusions without looking deeply into a matter. There are often more than two ways to look at things:
– Stop and ask yourself: What is the REAL cause of this behavior from my teen/child? > Could it be chemical? …genetic? > Could it be a matter of needing my attention or quality time with me?
> Am I interpreting the issue correctly? Am I (not) seeing myself and taking it out on them?
If you must JUMP somewhere, jump into understanding, jump into patience. This means checking YOUR stress level first. Check yourself. Societal pressures, money pressures and ego pressures are driving our stress levels up in an unhealthy way. Make sure your child is not the ‘whipping boy’ for that crap. If you’re doing this, you’re sick, maybe even feeling sick. Your axe is dull. Take a ‘sick day’ and give yourself a home spa day or a real spa day! Soak in some bubbles and meditate for a while. Then smother your child with affection.
Many times issues are not life-threatening and we can let it go. Save Your Breath and your energy for when it REALLY matters and learn to recognize the difference between when it does and doesn’t. Keep your axe sharp. Choose your battles wisely. Eighteen years+ is a VERY long haul!When was the last time you were unfairly judged guilty when you were innocent?
Raising a child requires money. Lots of it. The average cost of raising a child from birth to age 18 is $250,000. All kinds of advice is available for investing it once you start to make and save money. Some of it is helpful, some of it is not helpful. The crux of the matter, though, is making it in the first place; how you make it, then what you do with it.
Having a child to raise adds pressure to the creative process of making money. (1) A keen eye to understanding this at the onset of this pressure is a preemptive strike against the slide into the denial of what is required to maintain happiness in the money creation process.
(2) Peace of mind is paramount in any happiness arena.
(3) A thorough investigation of the tools you require to maintain your peace of mind, which feeds your feelings of well-being and wealth, is necessary. Lets look at why. Without a proper look at what’s available and what is needed for feeling truly happy, we fall prey to unhealthy shortcuts such as too much alcohol or too many drugs. We succumb to ignoring or bullying the child or being bullied by the child! We fall into dismay and desperation about cash flow and career choices.
(4) One of the most powerful tools for honing happiness in the creative process, be it money or anything else is meditation. There are many ways to practice it. Some prefer to skip meditation and go straight to intuition and bliss. Then there is the fun of where and how to engage your practice. Sitting in a chair, reclining in a hot lavender scented bath, facing the ocean, against a tree in the back yard or in the forest…. The possibilities are many. Connect with where money and happiness really spring forth!
How do you maintain your wealth creation peace of mind?
#9 of 20 Tips… is ‘share your experience with troublesome issues’. What troublesome issues? Well: drug use, abuse, bullying, lack of confidence, acne, bad hair days, mood swings, sex, pregnancy… take your pick.
What comes up in the moment? Are you watching to see and feel their happiness? In all of the discipline, training and ‘education’ they’re getting, there are bound to be stress setbacks for them, information overloads. Parenting is a master-craft. We gain skill as we go along only as we are paying attention to what is needed in any given moment.
Talking is important but listening is even more important. Giving forth your wisdom is important and listening for the needed wisdom DETAIL is important. Too much information for the age of the recipient is not helpful nor understood. You don’t want to talk on and on about the chemical, scientific facts of a matter without relaying YOUR experience, YOUR story about it. Have it be experiential for them. They learn better and the lesson stays with them longer.
I might add that it’s more fun for you to parent this way. As you’re relaying your experience, you’re recalling what it felt like to be their age or in their position. You’re ‘remembering’ and can be more compassionate about their current position. Remember also that they WANT to know how to maneuver in this world from YOU. It’s best to get the bulk of this information in them BEFORE they are 18 years old and magically KNOW everything!
Does your child know that MOST of us/you have experienced bullying of some kind as a child/teen?
Speak to the facts once they’re all in. That seems easy to say but the truth is, ALL of the facts are never in. So the best we can do is be aware of that as we mete out our decisions.
The facts that remain hidden are the ones that have to do with ‘why’ the teen is motivated to do or say what they did. Some facts can be explained. Others are under the surface and can’t be recognized even by the teen. If the teen can’t recognize key motivations for their behavior, they can hardly tell you EXACTLY why such and such happened.
A grain of salt is in order. To reduce the stress levels on yourself, it’s a good idea to be aware that the ‘unexplainable’ exists. COUNT IT as one (or two) of the ‘facts’ and address issues accordingly. Ultimately, you MUST believe everything will be OK in order to help make it so.
Are you patient in gathering your facts before meting out consequences?
MOTHERS EVERYWHERE, take this day to love and nurture YOUR Self. HEAP the Love on Your Self because you cannot give what’s depleted. SOAK inside out in it. Kiss yourself on the bicep. We are the Champions.
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