You’re running for the bus because you realize you’ve left your baby on it, you trip on a power line and fall flat on your face!!!
The baby being left on the bus represents our distraction with unimportant things. Our running to catch the bus represents our desire to make things right and show our baby how much we love them and tripping on the power line represents our lack of attention to the real power that lies within.
What are power trips? Power trips, in this instance, are those communications we have with people, children, family in which we seek to have our position in a matter dominate and win the ultimate outcome. It’s having it ‘our way’ no matter what they say. Power trips seem to dominate a lot of the exchanges we have with our children especially our teenagers. Isn’t this an energy drain? Sometimes we wonder how we can possibly keep this up for 18+ years! …but we do…
No matter what we say, it’s a constant battle to make any headway. In everyday life with parent and child both engaging in power trips, can you see how this is exhausting? Can you FEEL it? Make a note of this: My battle is with myself. It’s take on the battle or retreat. Retreat is not a real option. If YOU retreat, you both lose. Getting our point across in a single ‘battle’ or skirmish, no matter what it is, becomes more important than winning the war or in this case, the ultimate goal. What is the ultimate goal? The goal is to get them to adulthood, happy, healthy, wise and understanding how to fulfill their dreams.
Our battle is with ourselves. It may help to look at your child and see yourself. Are you willing to recall yourself at that age? I know this is too abstract for many but it is a worthwhile exercise. We exercise or we die. When we look and see ourselves, a certain amount of compassion kicks in. A certain amount of savvy kicks in. We start to remember the games we used to play with our own parents. We gain insight into how to respond in the most effective way. Many times the most effective response is no response at all. Are you willing to save your breath? Let the chips fall where they may. Think of the lesson touching the hot stove teaches. Let it be.
What in the home environment offers support? Our voices are not the only element necessary for teaching. Our composure teaches, our look into their eyes teaches. Our ability to ‘chill’ teaches. The children will need the understanding of how to use these elements as they go out into the world. Confidence teaches. They’ll need to communicate confidence as they move about in the world. Bullies seldom attack confidence… more than once. A strong, confident mind defeats bullies.
Why are there power trips? Well, going deeper into the glib ego answers. We have to look back into our experiences as a child. We can look back there and find answers to an endless number of questions. We can look back as far as the womb and beyond for answers. Then what do we do with these answers? Note this: It’s all about the moment. Ask yourself, what is the answer that will satisfy my curiosity right now? Answer that question. Make it as dramatic as you’d like. Then, apply the satisfaction you get from having that answer to the situation at hand and ask, ‘Do I really need to react the way I am?’
Our energy is a precious resource that we take for granted and it is granted provided we respect the source. Power trips stem from being unbalanced. Unbalanced energy trying to force its way into a particular direction. When we balance our energy, miracles occur. Could you use a miracle right now? The energy issue looms every day. Sometimes we feel up to it. Most times we’re just slogging through. You know what makes the difference?… gives us the energy? Our Love for them. Our love for our children.
They’re living love-lines. Even when they’re being a pain in the butt, the love thing keeps us in check. If we’re not in check, our mojo is off. Overwhelm has taken over. ENERGY is really a boundless resource. Among other things, we’re electrical… a fundamental property of matter made up of electrons, protons and positrons manifesting itself as attraction, repulsion, hot and luminous! Combine all that with the spiritual aspect of things! Can you see and feel the power surge within at just the thought of it?
One of the core understandings for us to have is that we are this boundless energetic being. Just understanding that preempts a certain amount of exhaustion. That exhaustion in turn becomes a thing of the past and a repose for the Hero that you are. Remember this: You are your child’s Hero. They’re looking to you to show the way to handle things. ‘Things’ includes the Self, Others, circumstances, situations, challenges, bullies, etc. When we consider it ALL, there is no way we are to handle it ALL except as the fountain of peace. Otherwise, we lose our mojo and drive ourselves to distraction.
How do we recognize and deal with the ever looming power trip? We can recognize it in the moment with our feelings. The moment we feel out of balance we know we have something to handle within ourselves. It’s not coming from outside. That just our mind playing tricks on us. There is no ‘outside’. We produced it all. We need to draw on that endless Love tap. You know, like the beer tap? … a Love tap. Sit quietly and just feel it fill you up, then respond. I suspect we’re not doing a lot of that or we wouldn’t feel so stressed.
Process and procedures aside, if there ain’t no juice in the line, the lights won’t come on. If the results you’re looking for need 4g and all you can muster is 110V, you need some serious rebooting! Rebooting is easy. My favorite means for doing it is meditation. What do you do to give yourself that extra jolt of Love’s electrical energy?
As you know, different situations call for different levels of engagement. Choosing one’s battles becomes important for reserving your energy for 4g situations. Don’t use 4g on 110 situations. That’s an inefficient use of energy. Efficiency is key for the preservation of self, energy, esteem and nerves.
If you would like me to help you with this, go to and this the link with the parenting assessment and I’ll do a Complimentary Parenting Breakthrough Session for you. It’s a $250 value for free.
What if we don’t deal with these power trips/power struggles effectively? Well, what do you think will happen? How many out of whack parent/child relationships do you suppose are out there? How many have you witnessed? Are you engaged in one right now?
From a global perspective, we’re constantly having to deal with individuals who clearly have ego power issues… from terrorists to school teachers. Let’s start NOW to get us all on the same humanistic page! Remember this: when we get everyone on the same page, harmony ensues. Working together can’t happen without a proper love of humanity.
Nationally and locally, same thing. It’s just closer to home. Note that home is really everywhere. From a home perspective, peace is not a four letter word. Love is. Let’s use THAT four letter word more often and mean it in a place where there is no space or time. Peace and love go to hell when power struggles gain priority. Is that what we want?
Save your breath sometimes. It’s not necessary to badger or say the same things over and over again when you have laid out the whyfors. Silence speaks in more than one way. In fact, when you’re silent, there is a communication happening. The words you spoke before are resonating. You don’t have to say them again. You just need to be as you would if you were waiting to see the result of having said them before.
Not only are YOUR words resonating but the voice of God whispers in their heads also. Your voice, the voice of God, their own egos chiming in. The kid has stuff to work through. Give them some space. Give yourself some space. And remember: power trips make for bruised egos and feelings of resentment.
You’re visiting with friends who live on the border of Wyoming near Yellowstone National Park. It about 8p at night and they’ve left for the store. You hear a strange noise in the kitchen. You round the corner and find yourself eyeball to eyeball with a grizzly bear! Fear sets in. Should you slam the door and run or continue to stand there frozen and hope it doesn’t care?!! Anxiety has paralyzed you!!!
That’s what it like for some parents who have anxiety over being parents! This post is about the various forms of anxiety we parents feel and the effect it has on our integrity. Do you feel anxiety in your parenting?
What kinds of anxiety do you carry around? Many parents feel that if they could somehow maintain a friendship with their offspring their (the parent’s and the child’s) world would be happier but it’s really deeper than that. If they would just realize that their child comes here with ego and that their (the parent’s) current and long-term sanity are at stake, they would accept the help they so desperately need.
There IS this anxiety of being the disciplinarian or authority figure vs your child’s friend. Well, a friend is someone who knows you well and is fond of you. Someone who is an ally, sympathizer and supporter. If you’re on point as a parent, your offspring becomes your friend once they reach adulthood but they can’t possibly be that as a child. They don’t know you well enough yet.
What are they getting to know about you? Because they come here with ego, they’re getting to know you’re a pushover. How many times have you seen a parent helpless in the face of a tyrannical child? What was happening at home that gave the child the ‘authority’ to behave that way in public?
I have a Family System that I’ve developed that helps parents with this and many other aspects of parenting that stresses us parents out. Anxiety is a silent killer. Half the time you don’t even know it’s there.
What is anxiety? It’s worry and uneasiness over what MAY happen. It’s our mind riding us. It’s our hearts being squeezed.
There is the anxiety over bringing a child into this world in the first place! Horrible place that it’s perceived it to be, there is quite a bit of worry and handwringing over that. Every day in the news we’re reminded of what the ‘life sentence’ could be that we place on our sweet unborn child. If it’s not the violence of our fellow man, it was the violence of mother nature and freak accidents that send us into crying fits. I could see no joy in it. Why bring a child into this kind of world?
Do you worry over having the money necessary to support a child, a family? It’s right up there in the big three of anxieties and fears. The struggle many parents face in this challenge is overwhelming to the point of divorce. Would you let me help you jump this hurdle? It starts with losing the fear or anxiety that’s holding you back… eating at you in the background. We are HEROES and as such, we use every tool at our disposal to crush the enemy. Anxiety and fear are the enemy. I have the tools.
I worried about being smart enough or wise enough to influence the life of a child. I was worrying in a vacuum, not doing any research, just worrying. I’ve talked to more than a few young mothers and would be mothers who voiced the same concern.
Man! I wish I had mastered this information before my Son was born. I actually thought ‘winging it’ was what we were supposed to do! I did have the decency of forethought to ‘think’ that if I waited until I was older and more mature I would have all of the wisdom and knowledge I would need to raise a child… and so I waited. I waited, not knowing that the roots of old heartache and insecurity had not been killed. I reached a magical age limit preordained by biology and medical science that said, “It’s time” and I went forth and multiplied.
Anxiety is often brought on by the idea of being a perfect parent. Perfect parenting doesn’t exist and yet it’s available to everyone because we are perfect in our imperfection. Our imperfection is for the circumstance at hand, which is to expand and evolve into a better parent and person.
Besides, perfection is overrated; you’re perfect, then what? Seems to me decay is next. It’s all downhill from there! We’re being perfected as we go by the lessons our children teach us. Lessons children teach us galvanize us to a stronger, more joyful existence and an even deeper understanding of love.
Why must we address anxiety? Anxiety is a significant health issue and silent killer. It’s rooted in fear, causes stress and has a close relationship with depression!
It’s something we can pass along to our children. Do you want to do that? We all may appear to be separate from each other by our skin but our emotions and feelings do not have skin barriers. There is a constant ebb and flow on our emotional exposure. It’s part of the 93% of non-verbal communication. ‘Communicable’ emotion is what I call it. You know, like communicable disease…
We must address it and build up our protection from it from within. As in protection from any communicable disease (dis ease) we must fortify ourselves from within. How do you do that for yourself and then for your child? Remember, oxygen mask on You first… Do you remember why?
So how do we rid ourselves of this anxiety? The quality of your attention is the quality of your parenting results. Listen with your whole body as often as you can. Things have a tendency to get hectic. If one has a lot of background noise and emotion going on in one’s head and heart, one will miss a lot of what is said and totally miss important cues to what’s really going on in the child’s mind and heart.
Know that you are the perfect parent even if all you’re doing is what it takes to repair YOUR broken heart and emotions in a timely manner. How can you tell what’s broken? Start looking at those buttons that get pressed that cause you to fly off the handle or cause you to get a sick sinking feeling in your heart or stomach. Start to recognize the feeling before it’s a full blown negative reaction. Then take a break. Stop in the moment! Breeeeathe…. Get this right and you can have it all; calmness, peace and joy throughout the land and family!!!
Keep your balance. Balance feels good, gets and gives respect and sounds like the calm whispers of the wind, the soft purr of a jaguar engine or the crack of thunder in a storm. It depends on what is needed in the moment to restore balance. Leaning too far in either direction brings up a not so good feeling. That’s your cue. Where do you think the line is between irresponsible parenting and child abuse?
What are you going through right now? It’s exactly as you have requested, maybe unconsciously… I know, I know there are some who are going through some pretty rough experiences. Are you asking for a mess or attracting hardship? We are ‘made’, ‘born’ to ask and receive. The asking may have been ‘unconscious’.
Raising children is part of The Circle of Life. There is no point in having anxiety over their coming here. This is their world, just as it’s ours. They own it. We are all born to serve The Expansion of The Great Intelligence of The Universe. As bad as you may think it is, we’re ultimately just another stretch of Cosmic Imagination.
Your creation of a legacy of having the courage to do the right thing, having a will to create the family you want and finding a way, builds integrity in your child and family unit. Walk the talk. Parent by example. It’s easier than you think.
Would you like to eliminate fears and anxieties in minutes rather than taking months and years! Everything about us is communication and how we feel in all aspects of our lives. If you have fears and/or anxieties that stand in the way of you making the money you know you’re capable of or stand in the way of dealing with parenthood in a thoroughly loving and effective way, if you find you are often anxious over disciplinary issues or what the future holds, contact me through the complimentary parenting assessment at saveyourbreath101.com/parenting-assessment. It’s a $250 value for free for a limited time only. You’ll be glad you did!
You were born to be a HERO to your child. There’s a saying, “God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.” I believe this is true. Not all people are called to be parents AND many parents don’t pick up the mantle of being responsible parents, HEROES for their children, and our world suffers because of it.
THIS IS A CALL TO ARMS!!! I call now for parents who treasure all that is holy and sacred to take up arms against parenting by default, living in fear and anxiety and just generally feeling crappy.
Of the ones called, an HEROIC task is laid before them… Bring up the next generation of HEROES.
BE the light that shines for your child(ren) on the path to Infinite Joy. Give it to yourself first. Have your True Will. This doesn’t stop just because your child is now an adult. Even the grizzly bear in the kitchen senses unconditional love and will walk away.
You’re rushing down the street. Excited and anxious to get to your business appointment on time. You glance at your watch. Looks like you’ll just make it on time when… you realize… you left your baby on the bus!!!
Is your mojo out of whack? If you find yourself running ragged and dropping things through the cracks, it’s a sign that your mojo is out of whack. Pull your Mojo in!… And what is your mojo? You may ask. It’s your ‘Universal Resource’…that part of yourself that is the universal joint in the drive shaft that is your life.
It’s your magic… your spark that gets things done. We often forget that the power that moves our lives comes from within. Some of us don’t even know it’s there. We need it for raising children. If it’s scattered, pull it in.
So, what do I mean by scattered mojo? Well, it’s when we attempt to have our point of focus on more than one thing at a time. Our energy gets scattered in all directions like a single beam of light going through a prism. Remember prisms? Anyway, the light goes through, gets divided into many beams that are not as strong as the light that was the single point of focus. The resulting light is watered down, weaker, fainter. That’s why multitasking isn’t a good idea. The brain can do only one thing well at a time. And it literally does that… just one thing at a time even though you think you’re doing many.
What does all this have to do with communicating with our children? Well, scattered Mojo, watered down by too many things to do or grief, pain or depression is a leading cause of grief, pain and depression. It’s an absolute self-fulfilling prophecy …a wet soggy mess that needs airing out and fluffing up. If you’re impatient or snappy in your communications with your family, check your feelings. If overwhelm is part of them, it’s a sign your Mojo is out of whack.
Raising children is the task at hand. It is an all-consuming love challenge, the ultimate Life project, second to none. Requirements are that we seek ambitiously to create the best family unit we can. To do this we MUST have our energy for family intact and refresh it and ourselves on a daily basis. What do you do to refresh your energy on a daily basis?
Make a note of this: I (meaning You) am Dean and Chancellor of Home University. As the Deans and Chancellors of Home University, as the Super-Heroes to our wee ones, it’s imperative that we keep in touch and in tune with our Mojo. Parenthood is a serious 18+ years project. At their birth we’re to pick up the mantle and engage as a Life coach.
We are training our children for greatness as we’re being trained in grace. Once the child is here, what is the big benefit to us? It is that, if we allow it, we are forever changed and inspired to the better and best we could possibly be. They are our call to Mt. Olympus. Isn’t that what deep, unconditional love does?
Why is mojo important in communicating with our children? Well, aside from what I’ve already stated, children are still in loud tune with Original Mojo. Think of it as taking up a significant amount of that 93% of in-person communication that is non-verbal.
It’s that part of communication that’s there before telepathy. It colors and flavors the message that being communicated. As Dean and Chancellor of Home University, does your home curriculum take into account the outrageous genius of your child(ren)? Does it respect and reflect yours?
I won’t dissect the intimate components of mojo here. That’s best done in my mentoring sessions. Let’s just say that for as many people as there are in the household, there is at least a multiple of three on each person as to the color and flavor of their exceptional natural capacity of intellect. The good news is, we can relax and just let it show and express itself. Remember this: Our exercise is to ‘relax’.
Mojo injects play. Let me tell you about one of my most favorite uncles. His nickname was Jabbo. He’s long gone now but his spirit, his mojo lives on in me. Like most people, he had a dark side but for me, it was his mojo that made him stand out.
He was upbeat and funny and was always playing and wrestling with us kids. I was born and raised poor in the South. My whole extended family was poor, including my uncle but he exuded a loud jovial confidence that made us feel magical.
I think the other expression for it is joie de vie. Joy of Life. Toward the end of his life, his dastardly deeds caught up with him but his big contribution to MY life was the Joy he brought to me every time I saw him… having a boring afternoon? Wrestle with Uncle Jabbo, he was always down with it for us kids. Stranded at school in the rain? He’d swoop in and pick us up. He always seemed to be there to the rescue. Magically. It’s the magic of Life that fascinates me to this day. That was his contribution. This illustrates the influence and contribution of others as well as parents.
When things are going your way and in a consistent flow, that’s your mojo working. When we’re able to identify it and work with it until it’s virtually tangible, we’re able to melt it into our kids. Do you have this as a subject of study and exploration in your home curriculum?
When our kids get a handle on their mojo, they’re happier and able to have more things go their way (that we want them to have go their way). Heaven forbid the kids have more mojo than YOU!!! What do you think will happen in that case? Would you be at their mercy? Would they bully you?
Honing a skill like that when they’re children helps to make their adult life a lot happier and easier as well. I’m sure you’ve met people that you considered magical. That whatever they touched turned to gold. Well, we’ve read about them at least…
It doesn’t HAVE to be only the upper 1/10th of 1% who we recognize as having their mojo working. There are some truly spectacular teachers, scientists and uber drivers out there who have it like that as well. What is your measurement of success? Is it happiness?
How does one develop their expression of their mojo? Remember this: your innate essence powers your mojo. To develop an ever flowing stream of mojo, joy, things going the way you want, all it takes is an absolute quiet in your negative thought and feeling activity. Developing that absoluteness is the exercise. How do you do this? If you want help with it, connect with me through the parenting assessment posted at the end of this program.
What if we don’t care about getting our mojo working? Then, the wheels come off the tricycle and we fall off! Have you ever heard the expression ‘Man cannot live on bread alone’? We need flavor and variety in our lives to keep our brains healthy. Our central nervous systems spark off of a certain amount of sugar… the sweetness in our lives. Our children are doomed to boring themselves and everyone else to death with their crassness if we don’t show them that mojo is something to aspire to ALL of their lives. Have them and yourself put the electronics down and hang out with their electrical insides.
From a global standpoint, a substantial loss in a sense of humor is what ails the world today. A sense of humor flavored with a healthy dose of humanity, understanding and compassion would cure a lot of ills, particularly in people who want to war. Using that power for good, good meaning loving people, is what mojo is all about.
Nationally, we as parents, lead the way in having love, joy and understanding [aka mojo] be the priority in how we conduct ourselves amongst ourselves and other nations. Our vested interest in our child’s future happiness and well-being as well as our own is the motivating factor. We sentence ourselves to self-annihilation or implosion if we don’t. What is your choice in this matter?
Locally, and in the home, is where it all starts. The attitudes, the attributes, the integrity, the humanity, respect, the compassion, the joy, ALL take root in the home. Our domain. If it is to be, it’s up to ‘we’. Are you on board with this? How easy is this? It’s as easy as ‘let it be’. It’s as easy as rain. It’s as easy as you already know it all.
When we as babes dawned upon this planet, we came here with a purity of spirit. Remember this: our pure spirit is our joie de vie, our mojo. It is the seat of our mojo. May it reign forever.
Our children come here with this same purity of spirit. When we remember that, we need to identify it in ourselves at the same time. This is one of the beauties of having children. They remind us of who we really are.
So tell me, what is your favorite way to keep your Mojo workin’? Here at The SAVE YOUR BREATH TV SHOW we help parents eliminate the stress and aggravation of parenting, whether your child is 5 or 50! If you need help with that, take advantage of the Complimentary Parenting Breakthrough Session you receive when you submit the parenting assessment at www.saveyourbreath101.com/parenting-assessment. It’s a $250 value for free for a limited time.
At the Save Your Breath Show we’ll offer comfort, comprehension and conversations that help make the heroics of parenting easier. Do you know parents are heroes? They perform brave deeds daily.
What do parents do? They love, feed, nurture, protect, educate, groom, infuse. They house, dress, chauffeur, coach, work, PTA meetings, calls to the Principle’s Office, sporting events, theatre, music recitals. They inspire, build up, comfort, play, lead the way and generally keep a vigilant watch over the flock.
You know what I’m talking about? We aim to give the proper attention and respect to these Endangered Titans. Parents … the ones who start it all.
You’re walking down the street, smelling the fresh spring air and the flowers in bloom. You’re admiring the beautiful colors and artistry of the front doors of the homes you pass, the perfect blueness of the sky… when SUDDENLY you fall into a deep hole and find yourself up to your nipples in hot boiling oil!!!
That’s the way many parents feel when they THINK they’ve figured out what parenting is really all about. They’re thinking and feeling it’s pretty overwhelming. This is when the cuteness of the baby comes in handy. Have you ever heard the saying ‘God made babies cute because otherwise we’d abandon them’? By the time we realize the depth of the responsibility, it’s too late. Cuteness prevailed.
Are you stressed and aggravated? Mary Ann Williamson reminds us that “The #1 Root of all illness is stress.” I’ll go you one further, remember this: 7 people die from stress every 2 seconds!!! That’s right. Every 2 seconds someone is dying because of stress. What percentage of them do you suppose are parents? I know what you’re thinking… 100% of them!… or close to it. Since parents make up roughly 70% of the population, 100% might be too high an estimate. Single people, non-parents are stressed too…
Many parents think they must slog through the day to day stresses and pains of parenting because that’s just the way that it is. That it is what it is. But it’s really deeper than that. If they would just realize that their health and happiness and their child’s current and long term health and happiness are at stake, then they would seek the help they so desperately need.
We’re emotional beings, our health is tied to our emotions; our emotions, our child’s emotions, the family emotional energy. We must keep our emotions healthy; healthy emotions, healthy mind and body.
It’s like as illustrated on the airlines, you must put the oxygen mask on yourself first and then place it on the child. What good is the mask on the baby if you pass out and die? In like fashion, if you’re nipple deep in hot boiling oil, what good are you to your family? Gotta get out, clean up and cool off!!!
You have a right to long-term health and happiness. Your happiness and joy level feeds the well-being of your child emotionally, mentally and physically. We parents are here to show the baby humans the ropes, so to speak. First we’ve got to learn them ourselves. Then we show them, the babies, how to maneuver successfully in this world we created.
Slogging through the day to day painful and stressful issues in parenting is not fun! We’re here to have fun!!! Having to say the same things over and over again, having anxiety over being the authority figure vs. your child’s friend, paying the bills and being disrespected while you’re trying to be respectful are intense stress factors!!!
I learned recently that having even the mildest anxieties and fears simmering beneath the surface day in and day out is the same as walking around with a 30lb. weight in each hand all day. Day in and day out. Can you see how hard that is on the body? Is there any wonder why we age prematurely? … How we can practically predict when age-related illnesses will strike?
I was a stress-out miserable mess of a parent for a very long time. It was only through the active pursuit (and finally capture) of solutions to my parenting issues that I freed myself from the worry and stress that plagued my parenting. Conflicts with separation, divorce, self-esteem and overwhelming money issues all colored how I parented.
Do you have money issues, patience issues, health issues? Twenty years ago, I started creating products to help parents with what I perceived as a bad practical joke that was being played on us unsuspecting single, free and childless individuals. Make a note of this: Stress is deadly AND preventable!
Denial is the blind spot that’s wrecking havoc on parenting for many of us on more than a couple of fronts… namely, our phobias, depression, inhibitions and fears. From the anxiety of being the authority figure to extreme Irritability and depression… From how many places does these fears stem?
The truth is, we don’t need to count the places of from where these problems stem. We need to nip them in the bud. It’s not necessary to recount every nitty gritty origin of every nitty gritty thing. It’s necessary to turn our attention to the inside, to our Ultimate Source and melt some stuff off.
At the Save Your Breath Show we’ll offer comfort, comprehension and conversations that help make the heroics of parenting easier. Do you know parents are heroes? They perform brave deeds daily.
What do parents do? They love, feed, nurture, protect, educate, groom, infuse. They house, dress, chauffeur, coach, work, PTA meetings, calls to the Principle’s Office, sporting events, theatre, music recitals. They inspire, build up, comfort, play, lead the way and generally keep a vigilant watch over the flock.
You know what I’m talking about? We aim give the proper attention and respect to these Endangered Titans. Parents … the ones who start it all. Today I’m giving you an overview of the show and why it came about. One of the questions I’m asked is ‘Since most parents are in denial about needing or wanting help, why do this work at all or this show?’
I’m excited to launch The Save Your Breath Show because parents are walking around in denial, thinking everything is A-OK and stress is silently killing them. Are you one of these parents? The idea is to lift the veil of denial and give parents a chance to save themselves and their families.
Parenting by default is what’s gotten the world to the ocean of turmoil it’s in today. It’s time to drop the anchor, come ashore and lay some solid foundations. Listen, I’m a parent. I know what that denial is all about. It’s your babies, your territory, no one is going to tell you how to raise your child! You know what you’re doing… and at the same time, there in the back of your head you’re saying OMG why didn’t anyone tell me how hard this as going to be? I feel crazy! I need HELP!
So why don’t we seek the help? Well, you know why parents are in denial? We’re TIRED! Parents are tired. We’re tired and when we think of getting outside help, we feel hopeless. Like nothing can be done and even if we were to engage in the solution, we fear yet another failure due to their lack of energy or a demand being put on them they can’t fulfill AND it would be just one more thing to do. Denial is totally understandable! It’s also totally killing us.
Make a note of this: My stress passes to my child. … So, in the selfless interest of doing our best to giving our children the best chance of having it as easy as they can once they’re adults, we parents need to enhance our levels of happiness on an ongoing basis, regardless of how perfectly we think we’re parenting.
What parents really want is to raise strong independent adults who are happy and fulfilled in what they do in life. I know we want that. Let’s have what we want. Let enhance our levels of happiness on an ongoing basis. How else are we going to teach it to our children?
Our children learn tons from us through osmosis… a subtle and gradual absorption of the essence of what’s going on with us. Clearly, if that’s pain and stress, it too much for their little bodies and they become ill – ‘currently’. Rather than ‘long-term’.
The intention of the show is to make your life easier. Think of the most awesome characteristic of the hero that we love. What is it about The Hero that we love? It’s they do the HARD stuff with ease. Say it with me now, “With eeeeease……” … Finesse. Write this down: I am my child’s Hero. Capital ‘H’.
Think of that sweet face looking at you. You are their world. To them, we are Super! We’re very strong and we do amaaazing things. Things that they aspire to do with every glance your way. That’s why they’re in such a hurry to grow up! Because of you, they want to do the things you do and even greater things. You inspire them so.
A TOOL for relieving parental anxiety is to tune into your thoughts and feelings and make sure you switch the bad feelings to good… I know that sounds easier than it is to do but do it you must. Sounded a little bit like Yoda on that one, huh?
I have various means through The Family System I offer that allows you to get to the point where you shift your thoughts and feelings quite that easily. How is your integrity? Is your integrity in tact? Your uncompromising adherence to moral and ethical principles that you want to instill in your child.
Your child models who you’re being…not only who you’re being at home, but who you’re being in the workplace also!!! Breakthroughs are being had all over the place in science and technology. Do you need a parenting breakthrough?
Why do this work? Why have this show? Our children are paying the price for the uncertainty and hesitancy produced by the wounds from our own childhoods. Remember this: Discipline is necessary to keeping your child safe. A hot stove does not need you to be there to teach your child never to touch it again but what about the child that runs into the street or into the face of some other danger who ignores your warnings and calls to safety? Follow through PROMPTLY with disciplinary measures. This does a couple of things: it teaches respect and it teaches integrity.
Why do this work? Why have this show? Think of the world view, the national view, the local view and the home view. It all starts in the home. Can you name a world leader, political figure or terrorist that did not have a parent of some kind? Parents are the guardians of our future. Our children are our future. Let’s do what we can NOW to salvage and rescue the situation, globally, nationally, locally from our homes. It all starts with parents. Parents raise world leaders, doctors, teachers, crooks and robbers… We parents have the very first shot at making a difference in the world. The difference is our children. Our influence is paramount.
On The Save Your Breath Show you can expect to see parenting experts, expert parents and practitioners from all walks of life and experience sharing what they have come to understand as a better way to do life and parenting in a way that makes it easier. As Maya Angelou said, “When we know better, we do better.” That has certainly been my experience.
I was all kinds of wrong when I was raising my son. When I talk about low points in this introduction, most of them were mine. As I experienced problems, I sought solutions and implemented. Isn’t that where we all aspire to be great? In the recognized errors?
Visit with us every other week. This is a bi-weekly show. Look in just in case there’s a piece for you to pick up that makes your parenting easier. Let’s lift this weight lb. by lb.
The year of shows will be organized into 4 themes, one presented every quarter. This first quarter will be on Communication. A favorite subject of parents who care to get it right. Remember, words are only 7% of in-person communication. 93% is body language and vocal elements. We’ll have guests on to talk about the words to say of course (in case you’re texting) but my passion is understanding what’s going on with that other 93%!!! The non-verbal… The 93% that is non-verbal!!! Nothing like a deep mystery, eh? 93% of communication being non-verbal is pretty deep, since so much of what we’re about as humans is about communication!
The second quarter will be about the Hero that’s born through Parenting. The Spirit, our senses, our integrity, the art of life, our joie de vie and teaching the appreciation of that to our children. We’re training future Heros. Write this down: I’m training a future Hero!!! Try that on for size. Care to give up denial now?
The third quarter focuses on the Body. We’re a total package. When we integrate all aspects of who we are, the body will not be excluded. From something as elementary as the parent being bigger than the child to nourishing ourselves properly, we’ll incorporate information and interviews that attack stress nutritionally and as a matter of fitness for parent and child.
The fourth quarter will be the Mind’s turn. Our minds, the child’s mind and how they relate to each other and the outside world. How much telepathy is involved? Oops, stepped back into Communication… and on it goes. It’s about the integration of these four elements.
We would like to know what you would like to know. What would you like to see? One parent suggested we talk with middle school kids to get their view of things. What do you think of that idea?
Do you think the kids will speak openly and honestly knowing they’re being recorded? When I was a child I was always suspect of things I say getting back to my Mother. She washed my mouth out with soap once. Wasn’t very fun.
What if we don’t get ourselves together? Bullies, drugs, crime, sickness, incarceration… You’ve seen it all. It’s all the stuff that keeps us awake at night worrying about being able to shelter our child from these harsh so called ‘realities’. Will it happen to your family? Listen, there is a core amount of who your child is that you will not be able to completely change.
If they’re destined for some dasteredly act, we can make damned sure we did our absolute best to influence the outcomes to the highest and best result. I know you wonder, as I do, about the parents of the serial killer, the parents of the bully boss, the parents of the neglectful parent. The only comfort any of us can have in that kind of negative outcome is knowing we did our best in our season of influencing the child. Humans come out of the womb influenced by genetics, environment and parents. Let’s explore our options together over the coming seasons.
So! That hole that you thought you were up to your nipples in of hot boiling oil? What you really fell into was the celestial lab where diamonds are made. Do you know the story of how diamonds are made? It’s called perturbation.
Well, they’re made two ways by man but my favorite is the natural way speculated upon by scientists. You know, the ones dug from earth. What you do is you bury carbon dioxide 100 miles into the earth, heat it to about 2000 degrees Fahrenheit, squeeze it under pressure of about 725,000 pounds per square inch then quickly rush it toward Earth’s surface to cool. Parents are Heroes.
They’re human diamonds. They bury and seclude themselves to nurture, they withstand heat that feels like boiling oil. I think that’s the paying the bills part.
They withstand 725,000 pounds of pressure per square inch… that’s the paying the bills compounded and squared by dealing with the child(ren), spouse, co-workers, peer pressure, job pressure, in-laws, etc. and quickly rush themselves to do it ALL now! PLEASE.
Your hole in the street can be transformed into a springboard that vaults you to new heights as a parent and person. There is no need to slog through the day to day stresses of parenting. Denial is not our friend. Are you in denial?
Whether you are or not, would you like to resolve your negative emotional and behavioral patterns and heal long lasting traumas in a matter of minutes rather than years on end? Would you like a Complimentary Parenting Breakthrough Session with me?
If you would, go to www.saveyourbreath101.com/parenting-assessment. Fill out the assessment, hit submit and we’ll arrange a time for your Complimentary Parenting Breakthrough Session. It’s a $250 value for free.
I look forward to our visits every other week on The OSWN Channel via VoiceAmerica.TV. Remember, you are the Hero raising future Heros and I bid you easy parenting. See you on the show!!!
Talk line: I mean the place in communications with your child where you draw the line at being disrespected. I witnessed a back and forth between a Mother and child recently that made the hair on my neck stand up.
She was attempting to protect him from danger (he had to have been all of 7 or 8 years old) as he was flying downhill on a blade scooter(one of those thin scooters on wheels). As she was calling his name, he would ignore her or on every other call, would bark back “WHAT!”
Now, the ‘old’ me (who happens to still live here inside) wanted to snatch that little dude by the arm and hold him until the proper authority could round the corner and address the situation but I didn’t . I couldn’t know that she would have appreciated my help. Times have changed. I knew it was none of my business but I remember the days of my own childhood when a ‘village mother’ would do just that until his mother could round the corner, catch up and take over… but I digress. I kept walking.
My point here is that in the attempts we make to communicate and negotiate with our children it is almost certain that verbal disrespect will occur. It is in that PRECISE moment of the disrespect that you drop everything and address it. In other words, your tone and the subject changes. In the above instance, after his FIRST ‘what’, my answer, in tone and texture, would have been “WHO do YOU think YOU’re talking to?” Based on our history and his recognition of my ‘tone’, he would have stopped in his tracks and waited or slowed down as previously requested.
I could go on about this but suffice it to say that should he have lost control and run into a tree it could have ruined a very pleasant sunny afternoon with emergency room care and expenses. It’s helpful to explain to them at that PRECISE moment that they are to NEVER speak to you that way and that you are NOT one of their little friends. Reintroduce yourself. Tell them, “you are my deepest love and I am your protector, your parent, the one who has come before you and staked out danger. I demand your respect at all times”.
(You may need to continue)… “At some point, if you listen and learn the lessons I teach you now, you will become an adult. At that point, you will have gained the wisdom to give back to your younger brothers, sisters and YOUR children but now, appreciate me and what I teach you as I appreciate you and what you teach me. Let’s respect each other but don’t talk back to me, I’m not one of your little friends!”
You get my drift? What would you add to this talk line?
Recent Comments