by Rowena Starling | Feb 15, 2016 | Informational
Parental paradise looks different to different people…sort of like the definition of financial independence. It’s definition depends on the person. You are in parental paradise right now and don’t even know it!
Whatever the circumstances and experiences you are going through right now, it is exactly as you have requested, maybe unconsciously… I know, I know there are some who are going through some pretty rough experiences right now. No one wants to think they are asking for a mess or attracting hardship but we are ‘made’, ‘born’ to ask and receive. The asking may have been ‘unconscious’.
We ‘create’ ALL the time. Thinking back over my life, I did a LOT of ‘unconscious creating’. Fortunately, my Mama put enough spiritual stop-gaps in there that I did not totally self-destruct! I think back over some of the things I did and I know that by The Grace of God, and on more than one occasion, I was spared death! That was her doing. I weep at the beauty of it though at the time my lessons at home were being instilled I didn’t truly appreciate them. You know that drill….
Where is the place of paradise we want to be as parents? Is it with obedient and respectful children who do as we ask the first time we ask? Is it with happy, healthy children who love to do their household chores and homework? Perhaps, they love sports and endeavor to bring home all ‘A’s as their grades because they find it oh so fulfilling to do so. They’re thoughtful, considerate and volunteer at the Senior Center because, gosh darn it, it’s just the right thing to do! They understand The Golden Rule and CAREFULLY live by it because YOU do! sigh…so beautiful.
That paradise is possible and some even have it but what about you? What is your paradise? Please describe in the comments below what yours looks like…your parental paradise.
by Rowena Starling | Feb 15, 2016 | Informational
Where are you right now? Are you stuck in parenting hell? Is your energy drained and your mind fried to a crisp? I knew this feeling well. As a single, separated and then divorced Mother, it was all I could do to keep from yelling at my Son every moment. Hell, I didn’t have the energy!
My negative experience was born from having too many expectations about the way it ‘should’ be. I’d watched too much TV and saw too many commercials depicting the ‘Happy American Family’ and expected my life to fit into those pictures. My mind LOVED the cliche’ of the little cottage with the white picket fence, green lawns, bucolic landscapes and the loving, lustful, bread-winning husband.
REAL life showed up and said “That’s not what you’ve set up”. Apparently, more is required than watching television. Looking at TV and reading romantic novels are not a plan. I needed to snap out of it and fast! The well-being of my little Son demanded it! What began then was the long journey from ignorance to bliss… the journey I endeavor to help you navigate. I ask you where you are on this path. If you will allow it, I will meet you there and help you cope and then to thrive.
My two degrees from Cal were no use in this. This required I dive into areas I had not studied before. I’ve come out with the 411 on shortcuts for making up for lost time and for maximizing the energy we wake up with each day. A happy adult Son who tells me what a good job I did raising him is the result. That is all we are to do. My insight here is that there are many tired, stressed-out parents who would appreciate my help. Stress relief and the elimination of aggravation for those who want it are my aim.
Tell me, where are you right now?
by Rowena Starling | Feb 15, 2016 | Informational
Great universal question you may be asking yourself!!! What’s in this parenting game for me?!! (‘Me’ meaning you) Why should I bend myself out of shape to accommodate this process? Don’t I have enough to do?
The answer is ‘Yes’ to ALL of the above. It’s a big fat YES from The Source Of All. What’s in this parenting game for you is a YES to your ultimate happiness and life fulfillment. It’s a YES to why you should bend yourself out of shape. ‘Why’ is YES to the continuing of your family line and your contribution to the expansion of the human race. YES, you have enough to do and more to do and even if your child was not here, you’d STILL have enough to do so why not do God’s bidding.
As long as we’re at it, doing the best we can do at parenting improves our lives and all of the lives around us. There’s a ripple effect… a paying it forward that helps to secure all our futures. The children are our future. They will support us there as we support our parents and grandparents now, for some this is quite true to fact but I was not speaking necessarily of finances. Our greater mission is the expansion of Human Intelligence. The way that is done is through the birth of humans generation after generation.
Let me help you with this. We get caught up in the day to day of things and forget to smell the fragrant wafting of fresh cut grass. If we would take a moment out, we can hear collectively then individually all of the sounds outside, then inside… How many different bird sounds can your hear outside, what about insects? Inside, listen to the steady hum of electricity flowing through the house, then isolate the sound of the refrigerator, then the computer… then your heart beat. Listen and see with your offspring. Make a game of it.
What’s in parenting for you?
by Rowena Starling | Feb 15, 2016 | Informational
You feel like you want to strangle your child!!!
How often have we read or heard about the parent that has gone off the deep end? They’ve drowned their children, done away with child and the spouse or some such crazy act to cope with ‘the big challenge’. You know what I’m talking about.
The stresses of raising children and trying to maintain a family are crazy making for a lot of people. The root of a lot of this is in what many of us believe what ‘should’ be happening that is not happening. We create unrealistic expectations for ourselves, some delusional, some peer pressure, and go off the deep end when stresses build up and things don’t go our way!
I, for one, thought to myself many times, “If I have to say that one more time, I’ll scream!!!”. Think I did scream a few times… and not in a good way. I couldn’t continue to hang out there… in that space in my head. It would only have escalated into more of the same and on to worse! Reassessment was in order. I’d lost sight of The Better Vision.
Our many and varied issues in life can impair our vision of what’s truly important. The consequences of allowing ourselves to be carried away in the sea of stress and unhappiness are that our children will likely drown in it with us. They will receive and pass on the legacy of a joyless existence, depression and pain. Was this passed to you? Is that what you want? You have the power to change it.
Is your vision impaired?
by Rowena Starling | Feb 15, 2016 | Informational
Family history (legacy) is a VERY important aspect of how we behave as parents in relationship with our children & spouses. I’m not speaking of pure geneology here, some people are adopted.
I’m speaking of what happened on a one-on-one basis to the parent(you) when they were a child… to the grandparents when they were a child and on and on into history, into infinity…
You see, what’s happening NOW is a direct result of what happened in the past. We may be reacting to it in a positive or negative way AND the impact of our history is still the profound driving force of our reality. Let’s look at ourselves and assess where we are on that evolutionary scale and if we are still doing negative knee-jerk reactions to the various situations we have set up with our families, then it’s PAST time to change!
Do you object to making lasting improvements, life changing enhancements, LEAPS in the thrive factor for yourself and your family? Family life and our individual lives are deeply intertwined. Once you give birth to a human, you are forever changed at the core of who you think you are. You have changed at that moment into a divine caretaker, governor and inspirer. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to thrive and shine as you have never done before.
Hell is a relative place. If I were to attempt to run a marathon right now, I would be in ‘hell’ right along 30 minutes from now yet people run marathons(26 miles) every day somewhere in the world! Parenting is much the same way. It is a grand glorious endeavor that we take for granted. The reality is, it’s a freakin’ relationship marathon. Proper training is an excellent idea so that you and your child(ren) get the most out of the experience otherwise… disaster awaits… some grand, some that wear on the very fiber of your nerves for years on end…
I’m here for you. Tell me, what questions do you have about getting out of parenting ‘hell’?
by Rowena Starling | Feb 15, 2016 | Informational
Hi tech gadgets are my enemy. (parent speaking)= Myth Truth= Technology is your friend.
High technology gadgets are here to stay. Many parents feel that they and their dollars are trapped in this onslaught of cell phones, video games, pods, pads, Aston Martin DB5s and what not. They feel that their children are losing touch with what’s truly beautiful, natural and wholesome in our world.
Another concern; kids sneaking out, not coming home until they feel like it, parents coming home to find their kid’s not there, chores not done and ‘attitude’ on the other end of their cell phones when they call to find them! In addition to that, kids can get you in a financial bind when there is no safety net in their freedom! This stress is and has been mounting for years in subtle and not so subtle ways that have a detrimental effect on our health!
The truth is: technology IS your friend. As the world turns, so must we. Like finally learning the Rule of 72 in the growth of money and now turning this information to our benefit, we need to turn this high technology march to our favor. We need to get on that bike and ride!
A piece of technology I have produced to help us out is the Save Your Breath App for Android. It allows the parent to track where the kid is, send text messages, pre-recorded voice alerts, gives a count-down to respond and with no courteous and timely response, you can REMOTELY block the kids’ access to service on their phone! They can still call emergency but not their friends. It works on Android Galaxy pads and tablets also.
I have more things in the works to help us out but just how much more cooperation will parents get with this App on their phones?
Recent Comments