#15 of 20 Tips…. Let them see you doing or having done what you ask of them
If we couch many of our lessons/teachings to our children as ‘rites of passage’ into adulthood, I think we would get more cooperation, less resistance. There is nothing a child wants more than to hurry up and be an adult. I remember it well.
Consider the household chores we ask them to do, the respect we ‘demand’ they show, the grades we want them to aspire to in school… Tell them stories of your experiences in various instances and segments of learning in these areas that you had with YOUR parents. Tell the funny stories, the sad stories, the thing you’ll never forget and why!
For instance, as a little girl, I loved to ‘tell it’. I’d tattle tell to gain favor. Once, too often I guess, I ran my mouth about something my Mother did not want told or maybe it was backtalk or curse words. She trotted me into the bathroom and washed my mouth out with soap! As I got older, she would tell me to "think before you speak". Everytime she said that, I’d remember the ‘mouthwash’ and would diligently remember to do it.
When my Son was coming up, I don’t recall ever having to give him a ‘mouthwash’ but I do recall asking him if he wanted me to wash his mouth out with soap. He declined the offer and I didn’t have to make that offer to him ever again. He is a smart guy. I could literally see him ‘thinking before he spoke’ from then on. He got testy as he grew taller than me but alternate reminders of manners and respect cut those episodes short. Besides, I made a point of him watching me lift heavy weights on a regular basis. He already knew I am cunning.
So, do you share the funny stories from your childhood with your child(ren)?
Own a ‘thorough lover’ relationship with money. Have you ever had a ‘thorough lover’? One who makes sure you are taken care of first? One who lingers…a long time…in caress of all of your sweet spots? Who strokes your mind, gently blowing cool-hot thoughts over your overheated coals? (To help cultivate such, refer to Tanja Diamond’s courses, & Chrystal Bougon’ssite ). Your relationship with money should be like the one had with a thorough lover.
Just like with a thorough lover, when it comes to money, attention to detail heightens the ‘enthusiasm’. There are numerous details involved with the proper handling of money. The least of which is to ‘feel good’ about it at all times. "Feeling good‘ is a deliberate act that says "I am centered in full attention to the appreciation of you". Then, as you would hire a master masseuse, masseur or luxury spa makeover for your lover, have experts give loving attention to every detail that makes your money grow.
As with a thorough lover, when it comes to money, attention to detail produces ‘maximum satisfaction’. This growing of it is the desired result. ‘Maximum satisfaction’ is to have the bursting, full flowering of thundering digits at the desired moment in time. Continuous, flowing waves of cash washing your retirement shores.
You know what else? Parents applying the same loving, thorough detail in their approach to parenting, will slow down and savor more of the little things, be calmer, more ‘present‘ and patient with their kids. More ‘present’ and loving to themselves as individuals. Happier.
I know. The economy is pressing more sweat on people but my point here is: take time out for the thorough lover approach in all that you do. Time is an illusion that you can bend to your will. Linger…a long time… in tender caress of all of Life’s sweet spots knowing that this pleases God and all is well….even money.
What was the most recent non-sexual moment that you held for a long time in soft caress?
Parenting help for single parents is a momumental problem! The lack of having the other parent is a hardship and deprives the child of the important influence of the other parent and especially if they are the same sex parent… But REMEMBER, at our core we all are entities that are sexless spirit. Having your child grow up to be a good and HAPPY person is the goal and MOST important thing.
– Cleaning clutter when NECESSARY serves to give yourself a break! It’s not ALWAYs necessary. It’s more productive to cuddle than to scream and constantly clean.
– Children NEED to participate in household chores and upkeep. It helps you, trains them for taking care of themselves and builds character. Make a fun game of it and when all else fails and it’s not a matter of life and health, most times you can let it go.
– Pull your air-mask on first, then the child’s (as they say in airline safety drills). If you perish or deteriorate from stress, what good are you to them then? Take your ‘time-outs’ too!
– Meditation and prayer inject strong doses of health, wealth and HAPPY into (family) life. Use profusely. Single or married, how we conduct and ‘handle’ our lives sends a strong message to our children. Give them the best and strongest headstart by stepping into your own happiness.
Hello, this is Rowena Starling, The Golden Ruler. As I think about The Golden Ruler moniker, it occurs to me that we are all Golden Rulers. We Rule the airwaves that produce our futures. We alone dictate what our future holds.
If you will remember your thoughts and feelings of the past, you will see that what you have now in your life is what you thought about long ago. …Maybe not so long ago. Depends on how strong your mojo is. Some of us are able to manifest big things in a short period of time. Meditation aids me in creating what I want for my future and the future of anything or anyone I care about. Through meditation, I have been able to realize significant milestones in my life with ease. In this silent conversation with the Creator of All Things, I am whole and healed of any heartbreak or pain. It absolutely makes it very easy to do unto others as I would have them do unto me because in this state, oneness with all there is lets me see that what I do to others, I do to myself.
The Golden Rule, then, becomes something to which it is extremely easy to adhere. So…I invite you now to declare your Royal Title. Your Long Handle. Your Descriptive Appellation. There is a subconscious spiritual prophecy fulfillment that happens as we rise to meet our projection. It’s fun also for kids and teenagers to come up with their Royal or Superhero Title. Even if they don’t tell anyone what it is, this private secret can help with realizing one’s unique value. Put a smile on the face and a spring in the step as one feels empowered to flex their divinity. A touch point to the Power within. Let’s make it a game where one dresses up as this entity but it can be shared or kept secret. Who are you being? What powers do you flex?
The catch-22 of financial fears is: you’re damned if you do, you’re damned if you don’t AND what you fear most happens! As with most things in life, when we feel better about the situation, the ultimate outcomes are better than they would have been otherwise. Money can be ‘influenced by our feelings’ into the direction we want it to go. (Our collective feelings influence the direction of the stock market. Let’s all feel real good at all times!)
People ask me “What do financial feelings/fears have to do with child discipline?” They ask me this because I often write or talk about the relationship of child discipline and the feelings people have about money. The answer is simple. Raising a child brings added financial pressure (to the tune of apx. $250,000 over 18 years) and without parental control tools of varying degrees of potency; hard financial times, kids being kids and parental self neglect can yield harsh action taken out on kids!
The care and feeding of children requires we guide (train) and protect them (often from themselves). New humans have a lot of ‘I am free’ and too little of ‘this could kill me’! The catch-22 occurs here too but we parents soldier through pretty well when it comes to the kids.
It is the money issue that scares the bejesus out of most of us and have us paralyzed in angst. I say relax and feel good. Influence money and kids in the direction of good fortune!!!
To what degree do you worry about money, adversity, your child’s future? …Your future? What is your catch-22?
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