by Planetlink | Oct 2, 2021 | Life Skills
Rowena in 2021
It’s a wonderful Fall Festival/Halloween Day. You’re sitting outside in the meadow with the audience of other parents watching a Halloween play in which your offspring is performing. The air is crisp and refreshing, the Sun is gentle on your face.
The play is going well. Everyone is beaming with pride as their progeny do their thing, when you notice that a metal beam is slowly giving way over your child head. You rise to rush to the Director to have them stop the performance but there isn’t time!
You shout in your mind for your child to “STEP BACK”!!! At that moment, your child, steps back as the beam falls in front of him! Coincidence? I think not.
TELEPATHY AND INTUITION and MY STORY:
Whether your child is 5 or 50 our connection with them is facilitated and integrated with telepathy and intuition. They are a means of making parenting easier and are often ignored in that regard.
My misery as a black divorced mother stemmed from a lack of understanding the depth of the connection we all have to our offspring and others. The result was needless suffering and devastation. We have some level of these connections with everyone.
When my son was in womb I talked with him all the time, as I’m sure you did with your offspring. Once he was born and right on through to age 12 or so we had a strong non-verbal communication connection (then his hormones hit). I miss those times. How about you?
In a happier time with my (ex)husband, at about 2:30pm one day as I was descending the stairs from the 2nd floor of a prospective real estate client’s home, I felt a strong jolt in my chest that almost dropped me to my knees. It was at this precise moment that my (then) husband had fallen three stories to the ground at his job on a construction site!
This was an instantaneous telepathic intuitive communication on our parts! To me at that time in our relationship, it meant something, like we were truly ‘bonded’. …. Imagine my devastation and heartbreak at finding it wasn’t enough to keep us together.
OTHER STORIES:
Then there is the ‘twin evidence’ and other multiple birth ESP occurrences between those siblings that cannot be denied. More than enough evidence of their special connection has existed through millennia. Let’s not debate gravity.
I say all that to say this: Many parents think that if they do things ‘harder’ (like work harder or press their offspring to do what they want them to do) they would get what they want, but it’s really easier than that. If they would only realize that we have built-in psychological and spiritual powers, then they would give themselves a break, reduce their stress and open themselves to the growth and discovery of a far more interesting and fulfilling life.
MY RECOMMENDATIONS FOR BEGINNIING TO BRIDGE THIS GAP:
1. Give more attention to the moments in your day and …
2. Relax more. Stress never or way less.
3. Listen to the thoughts and feelings you have inside that feel good and amplify them.
We can deepen our ordinary knowing of each other. If you want, I can help you eliminate your deep-seated fear of this kind of connection at https://emotionemancipation.com .
by Planetlink | May 15, 2021 | Life Skills
https://bit.ly/3iroT7z
Do you remember when you were younger, possibly happier, as light and airy as fog and fresh as mountain dew, hormones bursting, struggling to make sense of life?
“Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.” – Jennifer Yane
Ahhh… the Partying!… and hanging out with friends doing little to nothing. Discovering your first frantic steps into adulthood… your first jobs… maybe college … relationships. Relationships, that’s where everything started, then debt and eventually… longing for ‘the good life’.
What do you remember of the years that you mostly had fun in? What were you doing? Where were you? How much of it was fun that you had alone? Do you remember how much you loved and pampered yourself?
Last time we talked about fear being at the root of all of our problems. I’m talking to women in your 50’s now. Can you remember how much smaller your fears were in those days? Can you see how, as you’ve moved through time, stress has gathered and compounded? Fear is at the root of that.
These days you wake up to find yourself achy, tired and stressed before you even get out of bed. You’re near miserable over having reached some sort of midpoint in the river of life and afraid this is all there is… it’s all downhill from here.
Problems continue ebbing and flowing, highs and lows… Do you have mostly lows and stress that won’t let go! It seems like it will go on forever this way… ebbing and flowing… mostly ebbing…
Your problem is you tolerate just toooo much and you don’t take the time to actually know who you are! You’re waaay too busy surviving and taking care of the needs of others!
Black Women in their 50s & 60s have a 47% risk of stroke and 3x higher rate of stroke than white women per a 2019 study done by the Women’s Health Initiative at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston. [This has no doubt doubled in this pandemic season since 2019!]
Many of us Black Women have badly neglected ourselves. Some of us are parents of adults, some single and/or childless, feeling like a failure. We’ve neglected our health and emotional well-being, we’ve tried and tried to make meaningful changes over the years but we think we have failed in life, career, marriage or parenting experience… or a combination of these and other circumstances.
Let’s say you’re a 56yo Black Woman catering to ungrateful family members: husband, kids, man, parent(s), siblings… Save Your Breath! It’s really not about what they are doing or not doing. It’s about this fact: YOU have attracted whatever the situation, circumstance or outrageous behavior on their part is. This is true about EVERYTHING in your life whether you believe it or not.
The pandemic and its aftermath isn’t easy AND it wasn’t easy even before the pandemic. You feel stressed and dispairing mainly because you tolerate way too much. You’re tolerating it ‘within’. This causes premature aging, chronic disease and mounting stress! Once you sort it out from within everything starts to change for the better.
Many Black Women in their 50s think that they must remain buried in endless confusion and burdened by their accumulated responsibilities. That it is what it is but that isn’t so. If they would just use the power they have within more to their advantage then they would free themselves from tons of stress and disappointment.
Others of us think this is just the way it is and don’t have the energy to push against it, that it’s useless to try but that isn’t so. If they would just breathe into a new life for themselves, open their senses to the loving possibilities and tap into the endless reservoir of juicy life that lives within them they would amaze themselves with endless Joy.
For example, in my mid 50s I encountered a lot of back-talk from my adult Son, back-stabbing from my co-workers, the people on my business team and overwhelm from a significant pile of debt. I had neglected my meditation and visualization practice which was equivalent to taking my eye off the ball in a game. Sometimes you get hit in the head!
When you take your eyes off the ball in a game you increase your chance of losing. The same is true in neglecting your inside self, to soothe your feelings and amply the Joy that lives inside of you. Meditation gives this soothing and helps with amplification.
I had a feeling of impending dread and doom in my mid 5th decade in this lifetime. It’s the feeling of ‘Is that all there is?’. (Do you remember that song? I think Peggy Lee debuted it in 1969.) That’s not all there is if you want more…
I restarted my meditation, visualization and prayer practice. My feelings soothed out. Suddenly everyone was getting along, my debt started to melt and my fun returned.
Harness your imagination, amplify your very best feelings and KNOW you have what you want. Stop internalizing and putting up with so much crap. The crap will start to dissipate as you begin to meditate seriously. This practice will lead you to who you really are. Take the time to get to know who you really are. There is way more to you than you realize.
You may wonder how I know this about you. Well, as I said, I was once stressed, heartsick and disparing as well. Over the years I’ve gone in and out of doing what’s best for me just like you have. It’s that ebb and flow I spoke of earlier. We’ve all done it.
We’re kindred spirits. I don’t have access to anything you don’t have. It’s time we decide to go deeper, wider and more consistent with exploring the miracle we are by going within. You’ll find your problems begin to clear up and life becomes easier. You save time. Isn’t that what you want? If not, what do you want? Whatever it is, it’s available.
In my practice I have access to that miracle part that we all have. Of all the things we do, of all the games we play, THIS is a game worth playing. The rest is fluff. You then recapture your fun, your feelings of grandeur and delicious peace.
If you have not meditated before here is a beginner’s basic:
Sit in a quiet room where you will not be disturbed by noise, pets, etc. These days I use ears plugs to help block outside noises. You may have noise-cancelling earbuds. They’re not absolutely necessary but if your household is noisy, they are very helpful … though some sounds, like the sounds of nature or the gentle hum of ambient life, help focus the noisy mind.
Make sure your waistline is not restricted and there is no tightness anywhere from clothing, belts, & etc.
Take your shoes off.
Sit in a chair, feet flat. [Lying down works only if you can ensure you won’t fall asleep.]
Sit straight and balanced with back supported (however, ninjas don’t use back-support. I’m not a ninja). Balance your head (it weighs 10-11 lbs.) evenly on your neck & spine.
Close your eyes…
Breathe deeply… inhale 6 seconds…. then exhale six seconds… Inhale 6 seconds then exhale six seconds. Inhale… Exhale… With each breath relax your entire body…. Gently scan from head to toe releasing tension wherever it is found and wherever it’s not found…. Let go.
During meditation scan often to make sure tension has not returned anywhere. The mind has a way of insisting on tension. Cancel that noisy troublemaker on all fronts.
Your objective is to maintain a quiet mind. If thoughts occur, gently bat them away. They are not the boss of you. Don’t let them be. Remain in silence as long as you can, building the amount of time each day until you’ve reached at least 15 minutes per sit.
Remain in that silent mind and peaceful feeling throughout the day, to the best of your ability. You’ll get stronger as you practice. It’s the forgetting or neglecting our centering practices of having an appreciative nature, meditation, prayer and visualization that gets us in trouble with our happiness bubble!
Nurture your happiness bubble and attract nothing to be ‘tolerated’.
by Rowena Starling | May 6, 2021 | Life Skills
https://bit.ly/34bVk1p
“A Mother’s Love liberates.” ~ Maya Angelou
A while back I was rocking & rolling; engaging in as much business generating activity as I could; networking, conferences, posting to social media near daily, creating TV shows, a tele-summit, asking for referrals. I worked myself into a grease spot and finally had to take a break, a long break. … After some time, refreshed and with a couple of false starts I was ready to jump back in!
Have you ever started to get back in the swing of things only to be knocked back on your heels with a devastating blow to your heart?
This is what happened to me over the last 14 months. Covid reared its ugly head. Hope was then that it would be over in a month or so… It was/is not.
Then George Floyd was murdered in cold blood and reminded me of the MANY other Black People murdered. I went dark on Facebook for months after that. His calls to his mother were felt by every Black Mother in America. I happen to be one. Our Sons and Daughters are beyond precious to us.
We felt and feel helpless agony and at a loss as to ways to rescue him and the countless others he represents. This anguish compounds and grows exponentially as the years and decades roll on with these murders on repeat. To what extent does the pain threaten to swallow us whole?
There’s an expression by Elizabeth Stone that says ‘having a child is to forever have your heart go walking around outside your body’. Just because the child is now an adult does not lessen the immensity of that love. Snuffing the life out of the child snuffs life out of us Mothers too.
If the pain swallows us whole no one will see. In this society we are invisible. Who are the people that care about what we feel? The lives of Black Mothers are glossed over like so many footnotes in the novel of life.
“In 2019 and 2020 … the rate of fatal police shootings among Black Americans was much higher than that for any other ethnicity, standing at 35 fatal shootings per million of the population as of March 2021.” ~ Statista.com
That’s more than one murder of a Black Person by police every three days!!!
The threat is real AND we face it down. We get the subsequent reminders that “Hey! This isn’t new. It’s simply that this time (and a number of others) it was captured explicitly on video.” … It’s happening right now somewhere… without video.
Though I have my own occasional encounters with racist people, I had pushed the intensity of the racists’ cruel stupidity and rotting soul to the back and then out of my mind, as a matter of self-preservation. Without doing that it is one punch after another.
WE CAN STOP THIS!!!
When will WE decide our feelings matter and our lives have worth? WE don’t need others to do this for us. No one can do this for us. We are the elite in Love. We know how to do this. Our no-nonsense kindness often precedes us and no one can blame us for being angry, our babies are being killed and have been for centuries now.
“Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.” ~ James Baldwin
Love is the way. Before you click away, hear me out!!! Love is the most powerful force in The Universe. Can we agree on that? If all good people amplify the Love within themselves, hate will be greatly diminished and ultimately eradicated. At that point we all become good. Racism will be no more. Institutionalized racism that is weaved into the very fabric of America will be deliberately sought out by these good people and unraveled.
The challenge becomes having Black Mothers gather the will to amplify our Love in an extremely focused way to bring about this change, this most powerful and glorious change. I know the pain and fear in our hearts is competing eagerly with our Love feelings but our Love MUST rule the day. Are we going to continue to let pain and hatred be the boss of us? We must transmute the energy of our negative, hurt feelings into power balls of Love and burn them through hatred’s rotten body of people who are cruelly stupid and mindlessly leaving a legacy of hate and pain to be visited upon their children!
The quote above by Maya Angelou says it all. “A Mother’s Love liberates.” We can do this. In THIS day, it is our vital importance! Our Love can and will liberate us all from hatred.
Imagine we are tossing fireballs of Love and the racists are tossing fireballs of hate. Who will prevail in that fight? That’s right. Love wins.
Many Black Mothers think they will inevitably continue to feel helpless, hopeless, alone and invisible in this society because that’s just the way it is! That it is what it is. But it’s really deeper than that. If they would just realize a society of Love can be done, it must be done and we have the power to do it, then they would pick up the mantle and radiate the help we and the racists so desperately need. Will you join me?
We have tried cajoling, placating, marching and fighting. It’s time now to bring out the big guns – Divine Radiation: the Love Force, a Love Undertow.
Divine Radiation is exactly what is needed. This Divine Radiation realization came to me after a 32-hour period of prayer and meditation! It is the harnessing of the Love energy that is central to our existence and sending it through space to soak into the hearts and minds of racists. This is the only thing that will free us and them forever. If we refuse to do it we condemn our children and their children to this continuing cycle of racial stupidity. The racist putrid hearts will continue the hate.
This will work because the fear we have carried in our hearts has helped to perpetuate this darkness. As you know, what you focus on is attracted to you. Collectively, we have been focusing in the wrong direction for too long. It’s time to eliminate this ‘fear’.
Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King said it best “Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
I dare say the participation in this Love Force will have additional benefits for us ALL well beyond changing the putrid hearts of people. Our health will improve, the health of our loved ones will improve and we’ll all be generally happier!!! This is quite the worthwhile side-effect. The Undertow is certain.
Here are the Steps to Giving Divine Radiation:
- Eliminate your fear that this won’t work (and any other fear you may have).
- Amplify Love. It lives in you and will also eliminate fear. Expand it to the point you…
- Radiate the Love powerfully across the airwaves, through walls and state lines into the hearts and souls of all racists in its path. Visualize it radiating from your heart powerfully 360 degrees in all directions to the ends of the earth.
Make this a daily visualization exercise or prayer that lasts from 5 to 15 minutes or more.
Yes, now I’m back and ready to help Black Women with their fears, especially the ones in their 50s who have adult Sons and Daughters as I do and are hit particularly hard by this and a multitude of other stinky realities we endure in this racist society. The false starts are over. I wasn’t fully recovered before. I’m back now and stronger than ever. Will you join me in this endeavor?
Also, if you have a fear, anxiety of phobia that you want to be rid of, do allow me to help you. Order a session at https://emotionemancipation.com. Getting rid of fear is the first step to your ultimate freedom in more ways than one. I can help you resolve fears in 1 to 3 sessions, depending on the depth of the fear.
Be in Joy,
Rowena
by Rowena Starling | Dec 19, 2018 | Life Skills
“The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible, but they have never found these dangers sufficient reason for remaining ashore.” ~ Vincent Van Gogh
Isn’t that the same with parenthood? We brave the inevitable chaos, definite stress and throw caution to the wind when it comes to parenting. When most of us find ourselves in the parenting situation, we’re very much resigned to see it through.
The many storms in family life swell and dissipate one by one. Sometimes they come continuously and finally ebb. We weather them all.
Now that the holidays are upon us the pressure to spend money that most of us don’t have mounts unholy stress on the parents and offspring as well!!! Social and economic peer pressure are part of the great nonsense that we let ruin our feelings of peace and well-being. Why do you allow this to happen?
Let’s not forget the individual storms our offspring go through. Have you considered that their problems feel like storms to them? The deep lessons in relief you teach them (about this money issue, for example) serves their health and happiness for the rest of their lives.
Have you mastered the lessons yourself? How do you relieve yourself of peer pressure? Let’s talk about that a little further down in this post. Let’s protect ourselves where we can!!!
“Medical errors are a top cause of death.” According to a Johns Hopkins Research team, “250,000 deaths in the United States are caused by medical error each year. This makes medical error the third-leading cause of deaths in the country.” ~ Readers’ Digest.com
Doesn’t it make sense to do our part to avoid the need for medical assistance to the best of our ability? Peer pressure, money pressure and the like stir up emotional storms that lead to disease (dis ease). These storms of pressure are part of the chaos in our very sensitive family life/system.
“Chaos theory is a part of mathematics. It looks at certain systems that are very sensitive. A very small change may make the system behave completely differently. Very small changes in the starting position of a chaotic system make a big difference after a while.” ~ Edward Lorenz, ‘The Butterfly Effect’, (Wikipedia)
Do you know chaos can be a good thing? When you’re ‘centered’, you’re able to appreciate and engage the ‘excitement’, aka chaos, that’s unfolding for the growth benefit of your offspring (and yourself).
If you’re the parent of an adult the chaos may simply be the noise occupying your mind, the residual of what you perceive as your parenting mistakes and/or your desire to have a friendship with your offspring who don’t want the same.
To what extent do you consider the sensitive nature of your family system? It can be mind-boggling to even consider the many ways confusion can start with even just two people in the equation/family. Best to just deal with it. Examine it in depth later.
How do you relieve yourself of the pressures and unnerving consequences of caving to peer pressure, money pressure, etc.? Here are a few initial steps. (Like the ‘stop, drop and roll’ recommendation when you’re on fire):
1. Stop in your tracks and breathe. Breathe in calm, exhale noise.
2. Drop your attachment to outcomes. Assess what, if anything, is really needed to be done; in this moment, later or at all.
3. Roll with the situation. Flow in listening. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. [If danger is involved in the moment, remedy the danger first then roll…]
A preemptive strike for eliminating or significantly lessening problems in the future is to deep dive into your meditation practice and get in touch with that part of you that doesn’t need the approval of others, that part of you that yields forth the overflow of abundance, that part of you that attracts harmony, cooperation and peace. Are you in touch with this You? Yes? Teach the children.
What if you could glide along the edges of chaos and dissolve the energy of it from a calm vantage point? Can you see how this would calm the emotional seas of your family life? Our health and happiness is found there.
If you need help with this, let me help you gain that calm vantage point. Many parents come to accept chaos as normal… and it is, but you need not let it stress you and negatively affect your health, happiness and longevity!!!
“No one would have crossed the ocean if he could have gotten off the ship in the storm.” ~ Charles Kettering
You can get off the parenting ship but do you really want to?
by Rowena Starling | Feb 11, 2011 | Life Skills
Raising a child requires money. Lots of it. The average cost of raising a child from birth to age 18 is $250,000.
All kinds of advice is available for investing it once you start to make and save money. Some of it is helpful, some of it is not. The crux of the matter, though, is making it in the first place; how you make it, then what you do with it.
Having a child to raise adds pressure to the creative process of making money. Here are 4 core wealth creation tips:
(1) Have a keen eye to understanding this pressure can happen at the onset of parenthood. It is a preemptive strike against the slide into the denial of what is required to maintain happiness in the money creation process.
(2) Peace of mind is central to any happiness arena. Guard it jealously.
(3) A thorough investigation of the tools you require to maintain your peace of mind, which feeds your feelings of well-being and wealth, is necessary. Without a proper look at what’s available and needed for feeling truly happy, we fall prey to unhealthy shortcuts such as too much alcohol or too many drugs. We succumb to ignoring or bullying the child or being bullied by the child! We fall into dismay and desperation about cash flow and career choices.
(4) One of the most powerful tools for honing happiness in the creative process, be it money or anything else is meditation. There are many ways to practice it. Some prefer to skip meditation and go straight to intuition and bliss.
Then there is the fun of where and how to engage your practice; sitting in a chair, reclining in a hot lavender scented bath, facing the ocean, against a tree in the back yard or in the forest…. The possibilities are many. Connect with from where money and happiness really spring forth!
How do you maintain your wealth creation peace of mind?
Recent Comments